Relationship basics

By Kate

Priorities

Who's more important, you or me?

To make a partnership you are both important, but sometimes we have to put our partner first. It's another way to help them feel loved and special. Putting them first may mean we offer to do the washing up because they're tired or take the children out to give them some space. But it's also important to allow your partner to do something for you. If you are in control of everything, they may judge they're not needed or important to you, so let them know when you need help.

What's most important in life?

Overall, put your relationship with your partner first before all your other relationships. Don't let work or hobbies squeeze them out. There may be times when other people or things have to be moved to the top of the list, but make sure that's a decision you make together, then you'll actually still be putting each other first in a way. If a dispute arises try to apply the principle of "what is best for us as a couple?".

Make time!

You can't build a relationship with out spending time together, having shared experiences, doing things together. Try not to get into the habit of doing your own thing all the time, but don't forget to give each other space. Some people need peace and quiet to recharge their batteries, while others need people and excitement around them.

Make ten minutes each day to talk about your relationship, about what is really important to you both.

Sharing out chores or doing them together?

Doing chores together gives you the chance to be together, to talk and have fun, even if it's cleaning out the attic, decorating a room or weeding the garden. Sometimes one of you is particularly good at something, for example, one of you has a good head for figures and can keep the accounts. Let them use their talents, but don't forget to help each other find out any hidden skills, and let each other make mistakes occasionally. None of us is perfect!