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   Home  > Books

Date...or Soul Mate? How To Know If Someone Is Worth Pursuing In Two Dates Or Less

By Neil Clark Warren

Review

He feels a strong attraction to her. She wonders if he could be "the one." In the glamorous haze of early romantic attraction it's hard to know whether a relationship will lead to true love—or to a negative or even catastrophic relationship. This book helps men and women who want healthy and satisfying marriages identify the early warning signs of an unhealthy relationship. Dr. Warren shows readers how to hold out for God's best for their lives instead of settling for the first one to come along and outlines the factors that increase the chances for marital success. For those who want to become wiser in their relationship choices, this practical guide will help them find the love they want and avoid the pain they don't need.

The key, the author says, is not necessarily family background, or chemistry, or even how old people are when they marry. It's ... are you ready? ... choosing wisely in the first place. To do so he proposes a framework of 29 dimensions. These 29 dimensions must be "matched and managed" for a relationship to succeed":

  1. Good character.
  2. Quality of self-conception (knowing yourself).
  3. Absence of emotional red flags.
  4. Anger management.
  5. Obstreperousness (tendency to find fault).
  6. Understandings about family (children).
  7. Family background.
  8. Intellect.
  9. Energy.
  10. Spirituality.
  11. Education.
  12. Appearance.
  13. Sense of humor.
  14. Mood management.
  15. Traditional vs. nontraditional approaches to life.
  16. Ambition.
  17. Sexual passion.
  18. Artistic passion.
  19. Values orientation.
  20. Industry.
  21. Curiosity.
  22. Vitality and security.
  23. Autonomy vs. closeness.
  24. Communication.
  25. Conflict resolution.
  26. Sociability.
  27. Adaptability.
  28. Kindness.
  29. Dominance vs. submissiveness.

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