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-   -   My Partners daughter hates me, I need help! (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=7759)

rach 17th July 2011 09:46 AM

My Partners daughter hates me, I need help!
 
I have been with my partner for just over a year, 3 months ago he cheated on me with the mother of his 6 year old. Before this happened I had a reasonably good relationship with his daughter and her mum (the ex) bar a few small issues which I thought we had ironed out. Since the cheating she has started hating on me and putting the blame soley on me for them not been together, she has not done this privately but openly in front of there daugher, she has called me nasty names and repetitively told their child I am the reason she is not with her dad. This had really upset the daughter and now she has decided she does not like me, the mother has now said to my partner he is not allowed to see his daughter if I am around. I am so confused I really love my partner and want it to work with him long term, I am willing to give the daughter time to like me but I feel I am stuck between a large rock and a really hard place. I am still working through some of the residual feelings from the cheating, I have tried to be kind to the ex because I can appreciate the pain she if feeling but this holds no bearing to her, she has her target firmly set on my head. Do I walk away or do I stick by him?

Lynn 17th July 2011 11:33 AM

Re: My Partners daughter hates me, I need help!
 
I can truly understand where you are at the moment.
I have been there and I know the torture that you are going through.

It might help to break down the pain. I do find writing helps a great deal.
You have a few really big issues here. The cheating, the ex. the daughter.
Break it down into catogories and write down how each thing has made you feel.
The ex. cheating, how has that made you feel?
The ex. how do you feel about her?
The daughter and her hate campaign against you.

If you see if written down in front of you I am sure you will get some insight into how you could possible help yourself to make sense of it all.

There is just too many issues to deal with as a whole.
You are an easy target to blame all the issues on.
Your partner must take some responsibility for his part in all this mess, if he chooses not too then it will be very hard for you.

The daughter is a child and she is just caught up, like you in this and she will need a lot of time and understanding, and a lot of love. How can she trust someone new when her own Mother and Father have let her down so badly.

Only you know if you want to stick with your partner but you need to take very good care of yourself at this time.

chosen 17th July 2011 01:34 PM

Re: My Partners daughter hates me, I need help!
 
rach. I honestly think that this relationship is trouble.How can you trust this man who cheats with his ex wife? How will you know what is happpening when he goes to see the daughter with her there? You will have the ex interferring and making trouble for many many years to come, and is that what you really want?. Maybe they would get back together if you werent with him, otherwise why did he sleep with her?
My advise would be to find a guy with no ex, no kids and who has high morals.

Sorry but I cant see anything here but sadness and sorrow and stress.


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