Re: Married and lonely
 

I can't believe what you are saying as a christian and how you have recommended that Baroness watched porn with her husband. I think that is dangerous stuff and can break marriages instead of mending them. You obviously do not understand that and how a man must keep his eyes clean for his wife. I think you are living in cloud cuckoo land quite frankly. Either that or you are in some kind of deception.

Re: Married and lonely
 

beenthere..

Your purchase of sex goods for use in your bedroom is income to support a 13 billion dollar a year sex industry. This money funds prostitution, sex trafficing, drug importation, child pornography, and sex clubs all of which undermines our society. That sex film industry was recently shut down by the health dept because of HIV infected performers who have an average of 7/10 sex partners a day during the filming in the adult industry. Condoms are not used in the making of these films.

You should use your common sense to realize that a man who relies on such stimulus has tastes that may not include you in future. The stories of marriages that folded over raunchy entertainment is legion. A bedroom that includes pornographical images is not God sanctioned by any stretch of definition.

Re: Married and lonely
 

Hi

I'm not a moralist preaching against the evil of porn over a public site but I would have to agree with Raymond and 1aokgal, that there is this seedy, irresponsible & dark reality of porn industry.

I was quite shocked by the double standard shown by this poster..she was highly dismissive of Baroness in other thread and over this thread, she advocates porn to be shared within marriage. It's hard to believe those posts are written by the same poster? :confused:

Re: Married and lonely
 

Thank you 1okgal for your info. I didn't know all of that. What you said is very informative.

I am counselling a woman, not on this site, who's husband uses it blatantly with no repentance and prefers it to her. It appears it is heading for divorce, a common pattern where porn is involved.

I am shocked too Chamomile. Mainly because she recommends it as a christian to others which is far more dangerous than if she wasn't a christian in my view.

Re: Married and lonely
 

The thread with Baroness is very sad. She is in an unenviable position because a man who is not a husband has no legal responsibility to provide shelter or sustenance to a woman not his wife. Hopefully, she has relatives who will help her. She receives a governement check which is figured at 80% of her needs, which she mentioned. She pays for THEIR groceries now, so the taxpayers provide some support for that live-in arrangement.

If this man was going to marry her, he would have done so years ago. Yet that lady needs no moral judgment at this point. A man can entice a woman with the promise of marriage into such a situation. It is a lose-lose move for the women involved. beenthere made harsh judgments out of place for that situation as Baroness has ill health, no job and no prospects. It seems obvious the man desires her out. Baroness doesn't need judgmental calls, she needs encouragement and belief she will be okay if she can manage to go to her own family. She would be better off to put her life beside a man who shares her beliefs.

beenthere talks a good story about her Christian faith yet she endorsed porn usage on this site. Pornography is not compatible
with a Christian lifestyle by any stretch of imagination.
Raymond, you are priceless!

Re: Married and lonely
 

Okay I have nothing more to say to you. Just because we dont agree doesnt mean you are right and vice verse. Yes, i am a christian ans if you have to protect your eyes because you cant handle your lusty feeling that is you. i will not say you are living in cloud cuckoo, but I will say God has not convicted me in whatever I have done with my husband in the bedroom and I'm sure not going to listen to you try to convict and my marriage which is that great. Yes, we have flawsand have been through some things but with God being our center focus and foundation it is a marriage God has called it to be a great union between my husband and I. Also, i thought Baroness was married and did not quite comprehend that particular post and I guess you didnt understand my posting. If PORN is a PROBLEM for any married couple then stay away and dont convict the couple that enjoy it every once on a while. If porn break up a marriage there is deeper issued. BUT again, my husband and I have no problems watching a DVD every blue mean (which we really dont watch) and after 20+ years like I said before, we are still going strong and dont have to depend on porn. You know Raymond, have you ever read a book that was sexual, or watched sexual scenes on TV, do you hold your head down when a pretty woman walk past with one of those short skirts and boobs out? Do you even watch TV, because everything is sexual. I hope these things doesn't cause you to lust and dirty your eyes. Also, what you call porn may not be what i call porn. Everyone interpretation is different and Raymond good luck in your life and I am glad your eyes are clean. You are probably a perfect person. Everyone here me, If porn is an issue in your marriage and causing conflict get help. I am not living in deception because I believe my father in heaven is not a deceiver.

Re: Married and lonely
 

1okgal,
I dont talk a good story of a christian life, I live it and as i said to Raymond, what you feel is porn may not be what I feel is porn. However i will not justify what I do and my relationship with Christ with people who enjoy dissecting whether or not a person is a christian or not. I understand what Baroness is saying and going through because I went throught it with my sister. However, what i do in my bedroom with me and my husband is between God, him and me and God has not convicted me. Maybe you and Raymond is so focused on the porn and heck, their is porn on our daily Tv, in cartoons etc. But, please keep your focus off me and try to help those on here that is searching for advice and opinions. Which you both should know what they say about opinions. Find someone else to condemn and go back and read all your post. God bless and pray for me ;)

Re: Married and lonely
 

Look, you just make sure you dont purchase any sex good and dont focus on what I do try to help Baroness. Matter a fact stop talking about it and pray about it. :)

Re: Married and lonely
 

beenthere..

You said your porn was between you, your husband and God. When you posted it this Christian forum and espoused this to others you did not keep it between the three of you. You are deluded that such images don't harm a marriage.

Raymond is a good man of the world and has been here a long time. He deals with all these issues on a regular basis in his help for others, so he is no prig who keeps his eyes down or can't handle seeing a well built woman. I would guess he has been around the block a few times.

I don't think you are at all as you portray yourself to us, as your posts say otherwise. The pornographical materials are responsible for many divorces and destroys lives. Crime families thrive from the sale of such goods which support various illegal activiites and these film companies often use sex trafficed women as subjects in the films (as they are young.) These are the films you think so highly of in your bedroom.

You haven't an educated clue what harm is caused in our society by the porn industry.

Re: Married and lonely
 

Your posts do say otherwise Beenthere. What you say doesn't add up. I agree with what 1okgal says. I say keep your porn to yourself as what you say about it can be very damaging to marriages and could be the fuel a husband needs to indulge his lust.

Re: Married and lonely
 

I meant what I do is between me, my husband and God, as far as those are the people who judgement I care about. Like I said what you call porn may not be what I call porn. It seems that you nor Raymond is good listener and is set on your views. I stand by what I said about what I do is between me, my husband and God. I stand by the fact that if a married couple wants to add spice in their bedroom that is their prerogative and I stand by the fact if porn or what you call porn disrupts a home stay away from it. I am sure that maybe porn along with other issues have caused divorce. i am just speaking about me and my family and experiences. I am not interested in all the history you feel you need to share with be about porn. Porn is not a concern of mine, nor my main focus. So, please try to help someone else on this forum because I stand by who I am and have no need to try to portray to be something else to people who say they are christians but yet continue to throw darts. You have basically said i was not a descent woman, you have attacked my marriage ( and dont even know me) you have suggested that I was uneducated, deluded and so on. Now that doesnt sound too christian like to me. Sin is sin whether it is porn or taring down your fellow brother/sister. I am glad I do not attend you or Raymonds church because it would seem to me that one with faults would be condemned and even if you dont understand or agree with my view, God said he draw with love and kindness and I have not heard any love or kindness from you nor Raymond regarding my posting. IIts one thong to disagree with someone ut to baasically disrespect them with subtle name calling is alittle personal. The descent thing to do would be instead of trying to make me see things you and Raymonds way is to pray for me if you feel you need to. So, if what I do in my home offend you I apologize for sharing it with you all, but, I can only speak on what works for me and my marriage. Thanks again for your comments and please focus on the initial forum and I will not justify or try to explain myself anymore. Too much have been said so now as far as this is concerned, since it bother you two, just pray. God is not threw with me yet as I am sure it is the same for you.

Re: Married and lonely
 

Raymond it may not add up to you and it doesnt have to ever add up to you, but this is a forum where many things are discussed and many people share their views and advice. I have stated what works for me and my marriage may not work for others. I am free to speak on anything I feel I have the desire to speak about as well as you do. if my post offend you then dont read it, skip it and go to the net one. I would hope we are all adults on this forum an noone will just take anyone advice without the spouses coming to a conclusion together about whatever it is they may feel will help there situation. it.s not all about the porn but you and 1okgal is so focused on that. Also, believe that what you say can be very damaging also. I am going to sincerely try to ignore you and your teammate 1okgal, because I see you two are easily to be lead off focus. There are things other than porn that have been discussed, fornication, adultery, etc. and you two are really stuck on this porn. Move on, and continue to try to help someone else.

Re: Married and lonely
 

I find what you say about porn very offensive. It is easy to look at porn. It's cheap instant and available but also corrupting. That you back it as a christian I find staggering. You make out there is something lacking in me because I speak against it as if I was a prig or something. I have never met a christian who speaks in that way so it does make me doubt your credentials. I speak to you as a sister. If you was an unbeliever I could expect it. Yes we all have our views but that is my view.

1okgal knows a lot about the porn industry and the evil behind it. A lot of the porn stars end up committing suicide. It is an abuse of the gift of sex and disregards marriage completely, stealing away those husbands who fall for it's temptations.

The only one I found that agrees with your views was on the Husband Doesn't Want Sex thread. This was towards the beginning of the thread. Her name was Susan Strict. Two of us thought she was a man. Afterwards I found out that she/he is running a massive porn empire on the internet, but on here she spoke about God and that it was alright to use porn. Hmmm.

Re: Married and lonely
 

Okay Raymond, i apologize I offended you. I am not interested in getting people to agree with me this is a forum where you can express your feeling and offer advice to others. Now, they do not have to take it. It seems that you are so focused on attacking me. Well, i just say this to you and anyone that is so concerned about what my husband and I do, I did not realize this was a forum that was so judgmental and i thank God that you and 1aokgal is not Jesus Christ, because many believers or unbelievers would not have a chance to make it to heaven. Forget about your view about what I do, but, I have let others read yours and 1okgal post and it seems to them that you all are so focused on the porn and not my soul. Like I stated before, if you feel my view is so wrong, what could you be saying to help me see what God has for me. I dont think of you as a prig but very judgmental and this is why people have the views about Christians they do. They say we are closed minded and judgmental. Again, forget the porn and how you feel, but if I was weak in the faith, you would have discouraged me about serving your God. Bot because you dont agree with my view but because you and 1aokgal has been very harsh and judgmental. I do not care how much 1aokgal knows about the porn industry, I am not interested n it like that. I was simply speaking of time with my husband. Not sitting up watching porn all the time, not even some of the time lusting after those images. It really hurts that as a sister in christ, i feel no love or kindness. Again, I'm sorry for offending you sincerely and let it go. PRAY for me if you feel the need to. Keep in mind, you draw people with love and kindness and if I have offended anyone I apologize but I thank God for my beautiful marriage and I thank God for surrounding me around christians that are concern about your soul and not you actions. Because as God work on your soul whatever is not right he will remove. God loves us unconditionally and He is our judge.

Re: Married and lonely
 

It is not just about you Been there. I've dealt with a lot of marriages which have been ruined through pornography. One just this week actually. What you are putting out about porn being alright can affect other marriages where there is mental adultery going on. There are hundreds of marriages where there is no sex because of pornography as the normal sexual drive has been diverted to it. If you wasn't a christian I would deal with it differently. We have a responsibility as christians in what we say. I am not interested in judging you as a person so don't take it personally.