2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums

2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/index.php)
-   Wedding & Engagement Help (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/forumdisplay.php?f=12)
-   -   Broke boyfriend (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=9070)

chosen 9th April 2015 09:52 PM

Re: Broke boyfriend
Dogs are great arent they.:) I have had 7 rescue dogs in my life, all brilliant and lovely. My present one is a beautiful saluki cross, people are always stopping us to ask what type of dog she is, and to say how beautiful she is. She is a real ice breaker with people.
I would like more but we haven't the room right now. I did have three at one time in my first marriage.

My husband hadnt had dogs before I met him. His former wife refused to have pets in the house(fanatical about house cleaning) but I have converted him now and he loves them.

1aokgal 9th April 2015 10:02 PM

Re: Broke boyfriend
Dear Lindentree..

My life is wonderful! I came through a shell shocked, hard life to find a good life with a kind and decent husband. If we had no difficult times, maybe we would not appreciate how good things can be? I have a really good life.

I have seen the pekapoo dogs. They are really adorable, and about same size dog. Dipper goes half day each week to daycare for playtime. Then I go to grocery shop, movie or errands without him.

Yes, that desire to complete degree is very strong. The degree does often open career doors. I took a campus secretary job to complete my degree. It was pretty tough going between the two. My daughter was 3.5. I met my husband during that time, with my two Associate degrees, and few months short of Bachelors. It was marry him, go to Germany, or stay in US. HMMM. Guess which one I chose? I found a good career track anyway.

In this area Civil service is great career track plus any healthcare skill. We have huge hospital complexes here so Dental tech school, X-Ray tech, other hospital tech skills, all have salary while learning. That would be a good choice for anyone who needs income, while increasing skills. In a sense, this stage in your life also means you can find a new life and a DO OVER is not all bad! Challenges, yes, but women really have so many opportunities today, not there years back. Look on this as a time to "FIX YOU" and make your dreams possible. The biggest hurdle now seems to be to get a good attorney, and use the system to find out what you can get now to start fresh. What assets are yours, and what skills have you got? What are your potentials?

I would not look back over my shoulder too much, in your place, because it does not sound as if his vows of "forever" even go to "help you get your feet under" now! Don't be rushed to make decisions that benefit him, and be sure you discuss any decisions about your legal situation with someone who knows. Do consider a climate and living area with museums and vacation areas, and things you like to do, when you think to relocate. You might have fun to order a Welcome package or two from Chamber of Commerce in states/areas you like. I think that is fun to find out the biggest employers and what is available, with that information.

You have posters here who survived a divorce and found a better life. Keep positive.
I'd love some days in London or UK again as well. I watch Masterpiece Theatre productions, Mr. Selfridge and Downtown Abbey. Where is that winning Lottery ticket?

1aokgal 9th April 2015 10:12 PM

Re: Broke boyfriend

My husband did not grow up with pets and did not even like cats, he said. So he marries me who has to have animals and now he is devoted to them as well..even the cats. My Pekinese is a rescue. I suspect he was dumped because he is stubborn, a bit aggressive when he meets other dogs. It is his breed. We live with it. He goes to daycare to socialize. Pets are wonderful!

chosen 9th April 2015 11:54 PM

Re: Broke boyfriend
I love Downton Abbey as well. One thing that we do well is a good period drama.

I am not a cat fan for a pet, but generally love all animals. Dogs have that special something though.

1aokgal 10th April 2015 12:12 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
"Poldark" is another Masterpiece theatre production coming soon. The DVD is available. These are lush productions and the best viewing.

I took in one abused kitten and then later, two more, because of him.
He is now a senior, almost 17. :-).

Lindentree1 10th April 2015 12:45 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
I love animals. My WH kept our rescue cat, who is 10, and I took my rescue dog (adopted him at 3) with me and he is 7 now. I can't imagine a life without an animal. We had a bird before our cat. There was always some kind of animal in our home. My dog hated our cat, though. He loved to chase her, to my chagrin.

1aokgal 10th April 2015 12:57 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
What type of dog is a Saluki Cross? That is a new one on me. Yes, my husbands' family never had pets. I can't imagine that because I always loved my companion animals. Life would really get me down in a quiet house without a buddy around.

So, Lindentree, you each got an asset with a pet. Your dog is likely pretty glad he got rid of the cat. My dog also is 7, but he is very funny puppy looking.

chosen 10th April 2015 05:28 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
If you google 'feathered saluki' that will give you an idea, but she is a cross with something else we were told, although our vet thinks she looks like a pure saluki. We think she is crossed with a lurcher maybe.
Salukis are apparently one of the oldest breeds of dog, used in the middle east originally for hunting. This is why we could never have a cat, she would probably chase and kill it, she has a strong hunting and chasing instinct.
She is 7 and we have had her since she was 2.

In the past I have had 3 rabbits and gerbils and hamsters.

chosen 10th April 2015 05:39 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
She is like the middle dog on this page but maybe not quite so thin.


Lindentree1 10th April 2015 05:46 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
What gorgeous dogs!

1aokgal 11th April 2015 03:42 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
Hi Chosen..

A marvelous looking, majestic dog through shoulders and head. I do see the reason you are so taken with the breed. It is interesting about the heritage for sure. I think I have seen pics of such an animal on Egyptian style pottery in the museum. I do think you might be right the dog would be prey driven around cats as it probably has that hunters instinct.

I've love my animals and grieve terribly when they pass. I loved Sparky, the Ferret, and baby, who walked blocks on a leash, to the amusement of all who saw them. They could hop-hop pretty fast and loved the outings. Sparky would visit me in the kitchen, put his little paws in prayerful begging for a raisin or two. It was so sweet. We played hide and seek, and they were delighted and jumped into the air when they found me. Sparky got a mouth cancer at 5, and a $1,000 VET bill, removed the tumor, which sadly returned later. We had a few extra months. When the VET put him down, I cried for days. It sure can break ones' heart to lose a pet.

Pets bring out the compassion/laughter, and break down walls we have with people. It would be terribly lonely in a house without a companion.

chosen 11th April 2015 05:39 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
I still really miss all of my previous dogs. I didnt adopt a saluki by choice especially, I have had dogs of all sorts of shapes and sizes and breeds and none. In fact none of them were pedigrees, they were all cross breeds. I adore little terriers. I had a Jack Russell terrier X we adopted at age 6, and also a Norfolk Terrier X at about age 10 who was a stray and turned out to be deaf. It didnt bother her though, she was happy.
Salukis are very friendly and good with children but they arent always easy to train and can be quite aloof and dont always come back when called. In the past she has run off and its taken us ages to find her. Now she is 7 1/2 she rarely does that now. They also dont like being left alone, are strong pack dogs, so we never leave her for more than 2 hours.

1aokgal 12th April 2015 02:54 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
Chosen, I love the memories of all our sweet dogs. Each was special. My little Pekinese gave me a scare today. I had German Shepherds, a Pekinese before this one, and a sweet mixed rescue dog we had years back. We were glad to have them for the lifetimes. Wonderful dogs end up in rescue shelters.
That is a rattler, when the dog is a runner! We had a German Shepherd who escaped several times. Scary to worry something happens. I am paranoid now on the fence lock so the lawn care team locks the gate. I . I go out and recheck it, even though . Still, I never leave him alone outside.

Dipper was doing his psycho runs along the fence, back/forth at full speed when the dog is on the other side. He gallops full speed and ran right into my leg in his path! I heard the wind knock out. When I brought him in the house, I saw he was rattled. He dropped down on the floor, eyes so big, and starts shaking, shaking. Boy, he scared the tar out of me! I thought he got really injured. I felt him all over carefully, talked soothing to him. I picked him up and sat down with him in my chair and rocked him. He was really scared. I was afraid he hurt his back, but he seemed fine after a few minutes. That little energetic dog is fragile, very small. He is a size of a Yorkie, a sleeve Pekinese. He seems fine now, but I will keep an eye on him. I don't even let him jump down off the bed by himself, because I worry he will get hurt. He is 7 yrs.

He seldom stays home alone, as I take him when I can. If I plan grocery trips or medical, he goes to daycare, w/ice cream and dogs his size. Daycare is a big deal. Less kids, more dogs, and daycare! Today was a beautiful day. We got out for a drive before I had to get back and work on the tax return. I hate that chore with a passion! I told my husband on the phone, I lost 3/4 days painting to do this. Next year, it will go to a preparer, I will go on strike!
PS This dog needs some obedience training. He will seldom come when called! Pekes are very stubborn.

When we are older the pets make you happy. When you are younger, and life bogs down, we can go buy a pretty pair of shoes.

chosen 16th April 2015 03:24 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
I am glad that he was ok, sounds as if he was badly winded poor thing. :(

We have a lady who looks after her if we need to go out for more than 2 hours, so if we are visiting family who have cats, or maybe have a wedding or family gathering or whatever it may be she goes there.

We have a tiny tiny garden so she cant run in it, but we take her to some woods near us each morning so she can run free. :)

They are a blessing thats for sure.:)

1aokgal 17th April 2015 05:56 AM

Re: Broke boyfriend
Thanks, Chosen, for your sweet reply on my little psycho dog. He sure has some personal negatives! He is so aggressive with all dogs he sees, that weigh more than him...most of them. He growls at all "killer" K-9 dogs, that would eat him for lunch, Pit bull mix dogs, and huge scary dogs we see in the doggie store. I keep him sitting in the basket and a hand on him, so he doesn't go all crazy when he sees these other dogs.

When he is in daycare, the dogs are small like him, and there is a clerk to make sure all the dogs behave. He is pretty fowl tempered. I guess he thinks he needs to a patrol them. Is that the little Napoleon complex?

Since my husband is gone at tax time I had to again, wade through about 8 days of a biz/personal tax return that would choke a horse. I felt a little "poor little me" that I get to deal with all the details of life. If he were here, he is not equipped to do it either, as I kept the books for years. The last two years his company fails to withhold state tax, so I have to make sure to offset that in the return. My creative refund stands a chance to be audited so next year I need to find a good CPA and then set aside a fund to pay that tax if he has not got the hang of finding the loopholes.

It is just too stressful to deal with it all these years, Sometimes I resent filling in parts in a marriage where the roles are always blurred. That occurs more with a man whose job keeps him away. I sure didn't choose this as a way of life. Now I need to lose the built up steam and go paint and take some nice park walks with the dog. Otherwise I may let some of that slip when I talk to him on the phone.

When a brick falls off the China Wall and he is not here, it is NOT his fault. He begrudges me nothing, so I should not feel crabby I have got to take care of most of the chores. When he is around he cooks, cleans and does anything asked. He actually will be home before my birthday this month. He missed it 3 years in a row. I am sure some whiners, who complain a lot about their marriage, would not make It too long with that inconvenience! I am pretty stoic, but there are times, when I feel petty about the sacrifices I've made. I just try not to share that with him when he calls. I will paint a picture or whatever gets me out of that pity party. He looks forward to call home and doesn't need an earful.
Good night.

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 11:32 PM.

Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2020, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.