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-   -   Surprise Wedding (http://www.2-in-2-1.co.uk/forums/showthread.php?t=8286)

Jroper1986 26th June 2012 11:56 AM

Surprise Wedding

Im currently planning a surprise my wedding for my fiancee for next March. We've always planned to do a small wedding but she is currently expecting our second child so we agreed to put of the wedding until a later date. I have already booked the Westminster Registry Office but am looking for ideas for the reception. Does anyone have any ideas for a reception e.g. hotels, pubs etc. Its only a small wedding of around 35-40 people.

Thanks for your help

1aokgal 26th June 2012 06:25 PM

Re: Surprise Wedding
That is wonderful that you have decided,after two children, you want to do a "surprise" wedding. There may be problems, as I see it. She deserves to be included into all the aspects of your future plan and sudden decision. I can imagine there are times she questions her decision to have two children with a lover, and without benefit of marriage. It might be sometimes depressing for her to think she makes the biggest contribution in committment with these children.

Why don't you ask her, with a formal declaration, that you want to spend the rest of your life as her husband, and forget the "surprise." Plan together how you celebrate that occasion or better yet, marry before the birth of this child in a small ceremony. Then perhaps you could set up a larger wedding in future. Surprises often prove to be negative for the one planning it.

Do you think she WANTS to marry? I wonder why this was a belated plan, instead of marrying before children? A woman usually wants to plan a wedding and complete some childhood fantasies. Perhaps she wants a religious ceremony in a church and has the dream of a special dress?

I wish you well on your decision, but think she would love the idea to plan this wedding together.

Jroper1986 27th June 2012 09:37 AM

Re: Surprise Wedding

We did originally plan to get married this year but she fell pregnant so we decided to put it off for a year or two. I know how she wants to get married and where so that is all sorted. Im just trying to sort out the after bits like reception and travel but thanks for replying.

1aokgal 27th June 2012 08:20 PM

Re: Surprise Wedding
It is true that men and women think nothing alike. Women think and plan since childhood, about the future and how that wedding might be planned. I don't understand why you would put off for a year or two a wedding where there are children?

The world has not changed so much that people do not think about children born outside marriage as illegitimate. When she became pregnant (that takes two of you) and it seems, as you said, she wants to be married. Was it your decision to wait a year or two? It would seem after all this time she has met with your approval.

There is an old folk saying, "Why buy the cow when you can have the milk free." I think many men may think that way, but having children cements the trial relationship.

I bet she would be really happy to hear your mind set on getting married. I just hope you make those plans concrete sooner because what happens to her (and these children) if something should happen to you? I hope you have considered that and cover the bases for their security.

Perhaps you plan a smaller wedding now? I wish you happiness and think she will feel more secure in your relationship and your love for her.

For myself, I could not live with a man (unmarried) nor bring children into the world without marriage. Someday someone might say something cruel to these kids, as people can be cruel.
Your decisions about these issues may hurt the children one day, when they are old enough to know the facts. You make a good decision now and she will be happy to know how you are thinking about this. This is just my opinion, offered humbly, in your decision making process...not criticism. A wedding will be an exciting event to plan together.

kristenwaltrs 31st December 2012 07:50 AM

Re: Surprise Wedding
You should ask it from Your friends and neighbors living nearby. They would have knowledge and experience to share helping You in an efficient way.

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