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Search: Posts Made By: ronnoco
Forum: Marriage Help 5th August 2015, 10:45 AM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

I think the starting point can only be accepting the situation is what it is. That's the tough part - it's getting past that 'I can't believe this has happened to me/what did I do to deserve this/why...
Forum: Marriage Help 4th August 2015, 01:38 PM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

You say you think you must be giving off the wrong impression - not really, it's just listening to you say things like this yesterday : -



THAT alone after 1 year is the sign of someone who...
Forum: Marriage Help 4th August 2015, 10:31 AM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Saying you'd be willing to forgive and forget is one thing, doing it is entirely different.

It's clear that you will always hope that you and your wife reconcile. That's fine, that's your choice...
Forum: Marriage Help 4th August 2015, 09:48 AM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Ralf, you really really really should put all of your wife's stuff in the loft and out of sight. Waking up to see her perfumes, etc is just going to make everything so much harder for you. You are...
Forum: Marriage Help 4th August 2015, 09:32 AM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Yeah, it can happen but it is rare and it takes a special type of person to go back with someone, especially when you have had a long time apart and therefore dated and potential had relationships...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th July 2015, 10:19 PM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

I think if this is fine for a one man quest like our good friend Ralf but not when there are children in the equation like there are for UKG.

I think where there are others to think about there...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th July 2015, 10:06 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Sorry to hear that Ralf. I know it's not good news but it could always be worse. Least you're still mobile.

Life can throw some real crap your way sometimes but you've just gotta dust yourself...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th July 2015, 02:18 PM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

Why do you think I've got nearly 17 inch arms ;-)

lol!
Forum: Marriage Help 30th July 2015, 12:16 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Good luck Ralf.

I know you have had DVT before but I have to wonder if all the stress you are under has initiated this in some way. It's highly likely I believe.

Perhaps you should use this as...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th July 2015, 11:18 AM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

UKG - my advice to you is to ignore everyone else's advice and do what you want to do because deep, down, that's what you will do anyway.

Often in relationships, in becomes like a game and it's...
Forum: Marriage Help 29th July 2015, 10:19 AM
Replies: 807
Views: 522,021
Posted By ronnoco
Re: I really don't know what to do! Help needed please

I really don't know about all this - you've been separated such a long time - it's very strange indeed.

If you ever do get back together properly, I really hope you guys stay together as it must...
Forum: Marriage Help 15th July 2015, 12:00 PM
Replies: 1,518
Views: 790,019
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Yet another " I love you but I'm not in love with you" thread

It's probably all entangled in some way - loosing her dad, not having children, the house not being in both names - you could go on all day analysing if things might have been different had you done...
Forum: Marriage Help 14th July 2015, 01:42 PM
Replies: 14
Views: 9,465
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Desperate times

Hello,

The not knowing where you stand and worrying what could happen is a tough one to deal with. I always hated that feeling of limbo. I describe is as feeling like a lamb to the slaughter.
...
Forum: Marriage Help 13th July 2015, 02:26 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

In answer to your question, once I accepted that my wife didn't want to be with me and I got past that 'bargaining' stage of thinking we could eventually get back together or visualising or playing...
Forum: Marriage Help 10th July 2015, 10:39 AM
Replies: 56
Views: 57,522
Posted By ronnoco
Re: One year on the sadness and the stress.

It's fine to think that one day she might do that but you can't just continue as you are can you?

There are no rules in this life - I know people that have split up with their partners and chosen...
Forum: Marriage Help 10th July 2015, 09:48 AM
Replies: 56
Views: 57,522
Posted By ronnoco
Re: One year on the sadness and the stress.

It's actually very mean and selfish to not meet you.

Regardless of her own mind set, after 20 years, she really should have the decency to speak with you.

If you have tried 3 times and haven't...
Forum: Marriage Help 9th July 2015, 10:25 AM
Replies: 56
Views: 57,522
Posted By ronnoco
Re: One year on the sadness and the stress.

You've got to get out of this denial.

I don't think my wife should have left me and broke up our family of 3 very young children. Like you, I don't think I did anything wrong but this stuff...
Forum: Marriage Help 8th July 2015, 12:35 PM
Replies: 56
Views: 57,522
Posted By ronnoco
Re: One year on the sadness and the stress.

Hi Ralf,

Yes, a tough day but just like you did at Christmas, you'll get through it.

I would thoroughly recommend going of for dinner with a friend on both days if you can. If you can't, take...
Forum: Marriage Help 7th July 2015, 10:33 AM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Ralf,

For me, it's so simple and it's exactly what Chosen said. You ask her straight up where you stand.

I actually wouldn't do it face to face because she will see how much you have physically...
Forum: Marriage Help 1st July 2015, 05:53 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Yes, a pointless exercise thinking if things might have been different if you had kids. You'll never know and it doesn't matter now.

Al I can say is my wife absolutely loved our children - she...
Forum: Marriage Help 1st July 2015, 12:48 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

It's all stress related. The sooner you start moving forward, the sooner these things will ease up.

You need to stop this mind set of reminiscing over the past or wondering what you wife is...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th June 2015, 04:01 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Yes, you definitely should have gone to Malta - it would have be great but it's not too late.

Book some time off in your diary, go to the travel agents and make it happen Ralf. It will do you the...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th June 2015, 12:49 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

I think this is where you are going wrong Ralf. It's ok that you love you wife. You always will. You aren't going to just stop loving her and get over it - that doesn't happen. It's all about...
Forum: Marriage Help 30th June 2015, 10:21 AM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

What an absolutely fantastic post - it's this sort of attitude that will allow you to rebuild and move on and find happiness.

You should never allow one person to be the only source of your...
Forum: Marriage Help 17th June 2015, 12:30 PM
Replies: 2,138
Views: 1,449,680
Posted By ronnoco
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Hi Ralf,

I'm pretty sure it's a combination of anxiety and your body and mind completely drained form a year of limbo.

I had diarrhoea for about 6 months when my wife and I split, it was all...
Showing results 1 to 25 of 391

 
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