Site Areas
Wedding Centre
Health Club
Marriage Clinic
Chapel
University
Citizen's Centre
Coffee Shop
Admin Centre

Contents
Articles
Books
CDs / Videos
Tips
Services

Resources
Forums
Membership
Contact Us
Site map
Link to Us

Search

Take the Couple Check-up!

Marriage Week UK

Marriage first aid

Online support for your marriage

Free Tell A Friend from Bravenet


Home > Forums
2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums  

Go Back   2-in-2-1 Discussion Forums > Search Forums

Showing results 1 to 25 of 58
Search took 0.01 seconds.
Search: Posts Made By: Downtown
Forum: Marriage Help 8th February 2015, 04:49 PM
Replies: 5
Views: 4,793
Posted By Downtown
Re: Problem just goes round and round.

Seamus, I agree with Raymond and Chosen that the behaviors you describe seem to go far beyond a simple lack of communication skills. Given the anger problems you see and the way sex went off a...
Forum: Marriage Help 16th June 2013, 12:27 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

No, not if you are intending to do the 180. Granted, you will have to have some contact with her to exchange custody of the children -- but there is no point in giving her gifts unless you are...
Forum: Marriage Help 20th April 2013, 05:15 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Chosen, it may seem that way but it is a false appearance. Learning how to spot strong patterns of dysfunctional behavior -- and discuss them in intelligent terms -- does not convert that obnoxious...
Forum: Marriage Help 20th April 2013, 03:55 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Chosen, recent studies seem to indicate that the folks diagnosed with BPD tend to improve somewhat as they age past the mid-forties. This improvement happens even if they are not treated. What is...
Forum: Marriage Help 20th April 2013, 12:42 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Forever, thanks so much for the heads up. I had overlooked Cord's thread. I agree with everything you said there regarding BPD traits. IMO, you hit the nail on the head.

Of course, we will...
Forum: Marriage Help 19th April 2013, 01:36 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Freddie, thanks so much for coming back to give us an update on what happened after you picked them up at the airport. I was wondering how that went. I wish the best for you and your family.
Forum: Marriage Help 11th April 2013, 02:03 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Forum: Marriage Help 11th April 2013, 12:49 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

The advantage of having a disease is that, in many cases, they can be fully treated by simply swallowing a pill every day. In contrast, the syndromes (PDs) are ways of thinking that -- while needed...
Forum: Marriage Help 11th April 2013, 12:11 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

As Forever correctly surmised, I am in the USA.Freddie, if she truly loved you, you can rule out her being a full-blown narcissist or sociopath. They are simply incapable of loving. Please keep in...
Forum: Marriage Help 10th April 2013, 12:33 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Freddie, if you are not seeing a cycle of alternating between loving you and devaluing you -- which is how instability appears -- you are not seeing strong BPD traits. As I mentioned earlier, a...
Forum: Marriage Help 10th April 2013, 01:33 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Good for you, Forever!!! I had stage 4 throat cancer 15 years ago and am still doing well. No, I've never been a smoker -- someone has to be the one out of six. For treatment, I relied on very...
Forum: Marriage Help 10th April 2013, 01:29 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Freddie, I knew from the beginning that she had a mood disorder but, for several years, I mistakenly thought it was the bipolar-1 disorder my foster son has. I therefore believed it could be treated...
Forum: Marriage Help 9th April 2013, 12:53 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Perhaps so, Chosen, but nobody on this thread has done so. None of us is trying to excuse the wife's bad behavior. Rather, we are trying to help Freddie explain that behavior. As he stated at the...
Forum: Marriage Help 9th April 2013, 02:21 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

In the five years since my D, I've been dating around but am not yet in a LTR with anyone new.
Forum: Marriage Help 8th April 2013, 03:19 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Freddie, I forgot to mention that, to obtain a formal diagnosis of her issues, the therapist must see your W. A formal diagnosis would be necessary for her treatment or for use in a custody hearing,...
Forum: Marriage Help 8th April 2013, 02:21 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

As I understand it, there are four major differences between BPD and NPD. First, whereas NPDers are emotionally stable, BPDers are not. This instability is why BPDers flip back and forth between...
Forum: Marriage Help 8th April 2013, 12:43 AM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Nobody has yet proven, to a certainty, what it is that causes a child to develop BPD. The general view of the psychiatric community is that BPD is caused by a combination of genetics and an...
Forum: Marriage Help 7th April 2013, 10:33 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Yes. I spent a small fortune taking her to six psychologists for 15 years -- and it didn't make even a small dent in her behavior. As I said earlier, very few BPDers have the self awareness and ego...
Forum: Marriage Help 7th April 2013, 08:28 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Freddie, the behaviors you describe -- the verbal and physical abuse, impulsiveness, recklessness, always being "The Victim," temper tantrums, and rapid flips between Jekyll and Hyde -- are some of...
Forum: Marriage Help 7th April 2013, 02:56 PM
Replies: 307
Views: 155,288
Posted By Downtown
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Freddie, you say that your W has always been reckless and impulsive. Yet, you seem to imply that her behavior became much worse during the past year. My question, then, is what was her behavior...
Forum: Marriage Help 3rd January 2013, 08:38 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 45,505
Posted By Downtown
Re: marriage crisis

John, since last May, I've been encouraging you to see your own psychologist -- for a visit or two by yourself -- to obtain a candid professional opinion on what serious mental issue she has that you...
Forum: Marriage Help 19th May 2012, 04:16 AM
Replies: 115
Views: 45,505
Posted By Downtown
Re: marriage crisis

Strictly speaking, BPD traits are not something you "have" or "don't have." Every adult on the planet occasionally exhibits all nine BPD traits, albeit at a low level if he or she is emotionally...
Forum: Marriage Help 18th May 2012, 12:17 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 45,505
Posted By Downtown
Re: marriage crisis

I would like to think so too, Raymond. The problem is that there is no disease to cure. BPD is not a disease. Rather, it is a distorted way of thinking arising from damage to the emotional core...
Forum: Marriage Help 18th May 2012, 01:03 AM
Replies: 115
Views: 45,505
Posted By Downtown
Re: marriage crisis

Whereas bipolar sufferers swing back and forth between depression and mania, BPD suffers alternate between adoring you and hating you. They do this black-white thinking -- where you are either "all...
Forum: Marriage Help 17th May 2012, 12:28 PM
Replies: 115
Views: 45,505
Posted By Downtown
Re: marriage crisis

If she has strong BPD traits, it is not strange at all. That's why the #2 best-selling BPD book (targeted to the spouses) is called I Hate You, Don't Leave Me!
Showing results 1 to 25 of 58

 
Forum Jump

All times are GMT +1. The time now is 07:29 PM.


Powered by vBulletin®
Copyright ©2000 - 2024, vBulletin Solutions, Inc.


Top

Copyright ©1999-2024 2-in-2-1 Limited. All rights reserved. Disclaimer