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Old 17th May 2006, 09:46 PM   #5
AlwaysGreen
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Join Date: Mar 2006
Posts: 96
Re: My husband had an affair and got another woman pregnant?

Hello Brandy.
I am a bit confused here. I agree that your husband having a full blown affair resulting in a baby is disasterous and he does not sound like a very wonderful man. But my concern is why have another baby with this man when you are two are obviously not happy. I say this because you have admitted to having problems and also to yourself having two affairs in the past 6 years. I don't know why you had affairs or what you gained from them, but it shows that there has certainly been many problems in your marriage, if not only have you had affairs, but so has he.
This strikes me as a very troubled relationship and where you start to get the help needed to fix it is a hard one indeed. The real start is honesty. Even if not to each other then at least to yourselves. Is this how you want your life to carry on. Start asking yourselves questions and answering yourselves honestly.
Is there any possibility your Husband has an inkling about your affairs. This could help explain his belief that you were unfaithful. And why did you decided that now was the time to tell him, and then only tell him about the "One that you deem less wrong".
The fact that you have had affairs doesn't mean I judge you. My relpy to you is not with judgement. It is merely with lack of understanding as to why you both married in the first place.
The obvious truth here though is that your husband appears to have a total lack of repect for you and this other woman. You are both pregnant by him at the same time and he seems quite happy to shrug and shirk. I would suggest that now you two are pregnant (One just born) and the "****" has hit the fan, the sexual texts from yet another person are a way of escaping the pain and upset that he is causing and now pastures are again greener elsewhere. With the other posting away coming up soon and you being left alone with a new baby and two other children, and his upset cuban woman on the other end of your phone, it is definately time for you to do some real real thinking.
Is this what you want.
Is HE what you want.
Will He ever change.
Brandy, You say you love this man. Why?
I hope you come up with some answers and can work things out for yourself.
And as Helen says, the other woman is not to blame. She is as unfortunate as you.
Take care, and don't let too much stress get to you. I know this is easier said than done, but put all of you stregth into nurture. For you, that bump in you and the other two children who depend on you. You only have a few weeks left until baby comes along. Try amidst all of this to find quiet time for you and bump. Relax and think of the wonderful baby who is about to join your life, not the rat that is already in it.
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