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Old 21st October 2014, 08:52 AM   #2
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Not liking each other after long marriage ?

This is why affairs are so terrible, because they can often destroy what the marriage is all about. I admire you for remaining in the marriage after a long entangled affair on behalf of your wife, many cant do that.
Relate marriage guidance would be a good bet, but if you wife refuses to go then that's not a good sign. You may need to ask that she does that as a condition for the marriage to carry on.

yes divorce does mean that you are both poorer but that's life, and its happens to millions who seem to cope, but unless she is willing to work on the marriage and make changes, then what is the alternative? Your children are young adults now, so you wouldnt need to see her if you did divorce, except for times like weddings. My husbands children were age 18 and 21 when she divorced him, and he has only seen her once in over 9 years when one of them was baptised. At that age they are perfectly capable of being in contact with you themselves surely? They dont need their mum to do that for them.

Have you told her exactly how you feel and that you ache for this intimacy? Do you communicate about the future?
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