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Old 25th October 2014, 12:29 AM   #4
Bob Pure
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Join Date: Sep 2008
Posts: 22
Re: Not liking each other after long marriage ?

Thank you friends.
My wife is a complex person. Her upbringing was very strange , raised by her asian grandmother when her biomom abandoned her and her sisters when very young. Her family of origin are all very bad at apologising, and are all intensely critical. Wife is the same.

She has come close to apologising for her affair without it being spontaneous. She has has been assiduously faithful since then but has not really inconvenienced herself to respond to my needs since then.

The roots have not been sorted but I don;t think our current stalemate is because of her affair. This is just that we have, in the words of sixties songwriters, grown apart. We have had nothing in common but our kids for years and now they are young adults even that doesn't really make us collaborate.

Thing is regarding divorce, I can't really see as a Christian what grounds I might have.

Also regarding the impoverishment, I was made redundant last year. I quickly found a new job but it pays half what my old one did. My whole family would be poor indeed if we divorced. I don't want that at fifty if I can help it.

Counselling is probably the thing to do. I'm just so sad to find this is where I am after so much effort expended in forgiveness and wrestling the very devil of an affair.
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