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Old 8th February 2002, 07:36 PM   #1
ClUeLeSs
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Unhappy I need a prayer!!!

i recently found out that my wife of 12 years had a affair. When it all came out she said she didnt want that and she wanted me and the family..i am 29 and she is 28..we have 3 beautiful children..10,9,4..... i never yelled screamed of anything of that nature when i found out because deep inside of myself i knew it would happen sooner or later. reason being is that i had takin her for granted along with fallin into a rut and not trying to change myself when she would tell me she needed me to change or she would leave...well i would change for about a month then i would go back to the same old me...not showing affection..ya know that spark of love that u feel when you first meet someone..well that feelin left,and someone that we both worked with showed her the attention that she needed to feel complete and she slept with him 5 times over a year and a half..well when i sat her down and cried to her on my knees,the worst pain of all i tell ya,i asked her...honey...you have to reach way down inside of your heart and ask yourself...do you really love me and want to remain a part of me? she said yes and told me the truth...or i hope....she told me that it wasnt about the sex...cuz we have a great bedroom life....it was the feeling of being made to feel wanted...she thought i only wanted her here for convience,which was my fault..thats where the "for granted" part comes in... shes says she wants to be happy like before...years ago...when we were 19 and 20...i hate to say it but i guess im sorta glad this happened actually...cuz i think it really awoke my heart and spirit of love. i think that we both learned something from this and everything happens for a reason...and now i just need a prayer that what she tells me about wanting me and wanting us to be happy as a family is the truth....alls i want is the truth... i know my wife...well i thought...but again....thats where the 'for granted' part comes in again... i guess i need answers...?? god i pray to you in heaven that you will touch our hearts and send a angel to be by our sides and help us work through this.. if anyone has any thoughts or any advice...please reply...and keep us in your prayers.. she has told me everything ..from the sex part of her affair to etc..etc.... i really dont think she would tell me that she wants this to work if she didnt....she had the perfect opprotunity to walk out when this all came out and she stayed...quit her job...of which we really relied on...she is now workin for her mother...in which she took a 7 dollar and hour pay cut....she tells me to look at it rationally....would i quit my job of which i would need to take care of our 3 kids and do everything to prove that i love you.. well i have to believe her on one hand but the other is FEAR......Scared....... i guess i need a womens point of view i guess... take care all and god bless all of you in this world..... and again thanks for takin a few minutes of your time and reading this....
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