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Old 2nd April 2013, 04:24 PM   #5
freddie
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Join Date: Feb 2012
Posts: 139
Re: How to see our married life through my wife's eyes

Quote:
Originally Posted by chosen View Post
MY thought after reading this is that some people will never be happy no matter what you do. We cant go though life expecting to be treated like a princess. Thats not real life, nor possible, nor even good for us. She is a wife and mother to two young children, but she is acting very selfishly and in a very immature way. She is actually acting like a spolit brat, screaming and shouting and throwing her toys(literally).To some extent you are enabling her behaviour, and excusing it. Her behaviour is actually abusive, and the children will be damaged by it.

My husband was often punished with a belt, and he is the nicest, most easy going, easy to please man ever.

You seem to be blaming her affairs on the way you acted, I doubt that was the case from what you say. An affair is a decision. Those who cheat will aways blame the other person. Its human nature. She has had at least 2 already, and the liklihood is that she wont stop there. She appears to only want you when she has no one else, for security I suppose. You need to ask yourself if that is what you want. Do you want to be the fall back guy for when her affairs end? Do you want to live with a woman who lies, cheats and decieves? How can you trust her?
Well, she has not said that she wants to come back (or stay) to me. I know it sounds like I am making up excuses for her behaviour but I do say on the first message that she should not have done what she did.
At the same time, I refuse to discard her like a fridge beyond repair. If she has a genuine problem in her head, and I contributed to it, I am there for her now. And the matter about being mistreated as a child, alone, is a reason she needs therapy urgently. Not all people can cope, like your husband, with a bad childhood like hers with the demons coming back to haunt you throughout your life. I had a bad childhood, too, and therapy helped me a lot. Therapy will do her no harm, it can only help.
You need to understand that this not just the typical cheater, she does a number of other reckless actions that all form part of the same package she has become. Something triggered her bad behaviour, in the past year or so, and that is what I am finding out.
Yes, she is acting in an extremely selfish way. She considers that she has done everything for everyone, in the past 10 years and that she has had no reward. I am told that people who end an affair do not necessarily come out of the Fog automatically. She is still in it and, as Raymond says, I need to wait until she comes out of the Fog and sees reason for herself.

Last edited by freddie; 2nd April 2013 at 04:35 PM.
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