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Old 29th October 2015, 10:20 PM   #2034
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: Recently separated after 17 years of marriage honest advice and views needed

Quote:
Originally Posted by ralfgarnett View Post
Hi NDY, thanks for your concern, but I am not hanging on to anything right now, as I have said previously her stuff being here doesn't bother me,
I rarely see it and would have to go and open doors or drawers to see it and I don't do that, and neither do I dress in her clothing or lie around draping myself in it like a modern day Miss Haversham, it is not her stuff being here that causes me depression and distress, it is her not being in my life that causes that, also as you know I refuse to do her dirty work for her and neither will I do her thinking for her or play any part in the dismantling of our 19 years together, nobody does anything for me these days.
Its not YOU doing HER dirty work, but YOU doing what is right for YOU. Even if its freshening the house up a bit and changing a few things and maybe buying a few new things that you like to make it yours again. If having her stuff there doesnt bother you, then why are you so resistant to let it go? IF you dont want to touch it yourself then ask her to come and get it. Name a day and you can even go out and leave her too it if you like and come back a while later. Its all part of the acceptance process.
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