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Old 25th April 2016, 09:48 AM   #8
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Husband watches porn

Quote:
Originally Posted by AnnSanders View Post
Raymond, when you said that about him covering his tracks - that's my fear. He is saying all the right things, but he did last time, too. And i caught him this time totally by accident. He was up late watching TV in the den and I went out on the deck from our bedroom, where I can see the TV through the window. He didn't know I was out there. I'm sure he would have quickly changed the channel back to sports if he had heard me walking through the house towards the den. He says he's only done it a few times since the last time, when it totally wrecked our work lives and our home life. If the kids hadn't been away at college it would have been very hard to keep it from them. He admitted yesterday that he doesn't believe it is as big a deal as I think it is. He says he understands why I feel this way but he kind of thinks I over-react. That bothers me, too.
If he doesn't think it is a big deal Ann then that worries me. I always think of it as mental adultery. You are certainly not overreacting. It seems like you had a good marriage until this happened. Until he sees it I don't see how you can have computer rules. If it doesn't come from his heart then it isn't worth much. It is so easy to go underground.

You have done well to confront it. You need to continue to confront it I feel. This doesn't have to be militant or nagging. Just gently mentioning your deep concern would be enough. If he refuses to see it over a long period then I don't see much hope as this affects the most intimate part of your marriage. I read that porn features in over 50% of divorces. I think it may be even higher now.
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