Thread: verymuddled
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Old 13th July 2011, 09:42 AM   #15
Helen_uk
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,531
Re: verymuddled

Aww buttercup,

It's such a horrible feeling to be betrayed by someone you love, and it can take months, sometimes years to get over it. It really is like a physical pain.

Even though you've agreed to forgive and work on your marriage it will take a time for your self esteem to build back up. Trust also has to be rebuilt. All that takes it out of you.

Your H can help a great deal by showing he's sorry and allowing you to talk your feelings through if you want to, but don't beat yourself up for feeling this way. You didn't chose to have it happen , it wasn't something you had control over .

I guess a part of you looked at this other man who comes across as kind and lovely and wondered what if....... It isn't wrong to feel that , it's understandable, you're all mixed up. The good thing is you didn't act on it , two wrongs wouldn't have made a right and you knew that and so stopped it happening.

Just take some time to get over the hurt and see if the marriage can get back to what it was before your H's affair . Maybe pamper yourself a bit ?
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