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Old 28th December 2015, 12:16 PM   #1
vman1977
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Join Date: Dec 2015
Posts: 6
What to do now??

Hi
Try to make this difficult situation short as possible. My wife and i have been together for 7 years and married 5, we have 3 kids ..3, 6 and 15(step daughter) we have had problems like most couples in our relationship but a few months ago my wife decided enough was enough and told me she does not love me anymore and told me that she felt like she was going round in circles and needed to get on the straight path and our relationship was over.All her recent friends had split from there partners.I moved out end of october and she soon make changes regarding house and how she looked etc and she better off regarding financially since i left..I did the usual mistakes pleading we can work etc and the useal texts..we then begin getting on ok a few weeks after but she still made it clear that there was no us.
I decided to see a solictor to see where i stood regarding house, i knew that would upset my wife and maybe mess up my xmas with kids but felt like i had to look after myself at that point.So i told her and she reacted as i thought she would and demanded not to see her again and wanteda divorce staright away, we were back and forth with texts for a few weeks not really getting anywhere. She said she never said never to us but now she will never go back and shehas changed as a person and the kids would be happy if we seperated.I don't want a divorce cos i never was angry that she finished our relationship as it would never have made me change as a person at looked at all my wrongs in the relationship..I really do this can work but i understand i cannot make her love me again.Whilst this was going on i found out she had dated a month after the split with someone for a couple of dates.She told me she wasn't seeing him anymore but i am not enterelly sure but end of day i can't do anything about it.We agreed on a fiqure when she sells the house if i give her the divorce asap as she wants a clean break and eventually move on..A couple of weeks i sent her an email asking her to reconsider the divorce for at least 6 months as people and feelings do change and i want to consider the kids.She is niave to think the kids are happier as i have my 6 year old asking me to come home every week.Regards to kids i have never used them as pawns if anything we have got closer as mum is working long hours and not spending much time with the boys.Also in the email i also said if she still wants the divorce asap i will sign it and could we just get along for xmas for kids sake and talk about it after xmas. Anyway a few days before xmas we embraced in a hug and told each other we missed each other( even though my "i miss you" is different to hers)
We had a lovely xmas day even though i had to leave in the afternoon and got a message later from her "This morning has been lovely please don't underestimate how hard it was you leaving"
Another false hope. anyway so since then we have got on well in each others company( she even added me back to whatsapp after deleting me. My problem now is shall i give her space now like she asked for a while ago, limited contact just discuss kids and get on with my life too ( i did write a short letter explaining i had a lovely xmas and i was sorry for everything that happend a few months ago and i shoud repect her decison to give her space and if she still wants a divorce i will sign it) I haven't giving her the letter..Do i? Or shall i just play it cool and drop kids off and keep it friendly and see what happens? I am not mentioning anything about us anymore etc ....Is my relationship dead? Do you think i can stop divorce?? Help anyone just some insight be great.
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