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Old 16th April 2014, 11:18 PM   #1
freddo
Registered User
 
Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 8
20 years Trapped

I got married 20 years ago to a minister. At the time I had just graduated, lost a parent and the other emigrated and nursed a close friend through a long terminal illness. I needed religion and answers. My minister husband ticked my boxes and made the world safe. It wasn't the whole me that he fell in love with -it was the partial me that I knew fitted the life of a ministers wife. I could do that job, and do it well.
Of course, 6 months after the wedding I knew what a monumental mistake I'd made. I couldn't hurt him though. And I'd made vows in front of god and a zillion vicars.
Then along came children. Poverty trap. No family of my own. No house / independent income....trapped! I'm now 20 years later. I've adapted. Ive brought up a beautiful family and am very well blessed. Ive thrown myself into the parish since Ive never had enough child care to work full time and ive run lots of small businesses to keep the wolf from the door as we've moved around.

Children are growing and beginning to fly. I'm returning to myself. I no longer wish to pretend..... what should I do?
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