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Old 28th January 2012, 01:54 PM   #9
bandit0000
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2011
Posts: 400
Re: How do I move on?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Sigh View Post
Thanks Lisa

It was her that made the decision but I guess we both knew that things had been bad for sometime. She is two and a half years sober and its been the last two years where things have gone bad. There was nothing sexual between us throughout the whole of last year and even the kisses became more like pecks.

A few months ago her main AA mentor told her to call an end to the marriage once she had the strength to do so. I don't think she had reached that point, but a stress between us blew everything up and things were at an end.

Not only have I lost my wife, I have also lost my best friend and she was pretty much my only friend. Having been made redundancy I have no work colleagues to turn to. I've been seeing a counsellor for self-esteem issues for a few months but those sessions have recently become an opportunity for me to off-load things, yet I don't get rid of them.

Simon
Gosh this AA have a lot to answer for, but I guess you don't know what she has said to them.

Simon, you are going to have to come on here ok, I can't tell you how much help I have gotten, truly, I hate to think what I would have done. Its going to be even harder getting back into work feeling how you are and I am sure some of the other people on here may offer some advice in that area.

The sexual thing was probably because of the issues you were going through, obviously if there are issues then that is not going to be the first thing on your mind.
Is she aware of how you feel now and how upset you are, I wrote a letter, well a poem really to my H, it didn't make a difference to my H as un be known to me he already had someone else, but I felt I had said what I needed to and was happy he knew how I felt, no matter what he chose to do with it.

I know what you mean about the counselling, so far thats all I have found you get to talk, but the situation still stays the same, although they should be able to offer us coping strategies.

Do you have any other family or is there just your Mum?

Its a horrible situation ok, I am a couple of weeks ahead of you, but it is a rollercoaster. Try keep yourself busy and always force yourself to get up, get dressed etc, it really does make you feel a bit better.
Staying in bed will make you so much worse, everytime I do it I have a really really bad day.

So sorry you are going through this, some people do not know when they are on to a good thing xx
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