Thread: Now what to do?
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Old 27th June 2013, 11:49 PM   #1
SadBob
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Now what to do?

Hi all again,

I've not been around for a while, about 16 months. Last time I was here you were a great help (see here)

For those who don't want to read all of the thread, basically W had an emotional affair with a guy she worked with, whilst I was off work with depression.

Now to bring you all up to date on what the last 16 months has held in store.

A little after my last post we started marriage counselling, which I'm glad we did. Even though we ended up apart. W moved out and moved in by herself, and said although she didn't hate me she didn't want to remain married to me, and that we should separate and get a divorce. It was agreed that we would live apart for 2 years then start the divorce, so neither side to blame.

Needless to say it hit me hard, but with friends I somehow got through it. Although I'm still not back at work full time (managed to move departments at work, and it's loads better) and still on anti-depressants.

We talk every now and then, mostly about joint issues, like the mortgage etc. So there are no hard feelings now between us, which I think is a real positive.

So fast forward to about 3 months ago, and I was introduced to a female friend of a friend. Anyway we have been seeing a bit of each other as friends, and once again life seemed to be worth living again. This girl knows all about my current situation, and we have been talking about dating. A sort of as I am technically still married, although separated, I don't want to have an affair.

Anyway, she has been great and doesn't want me to do anything that is likely to do anything that could count against me if my W turns nasty.

Her (that is my female friend) has introduced me to her family etc as a friend, and even they have commented on how well we seem together. And I would be lying if I said I didn't have some feelings for her. But I'm not wanting to rush into anything, and I certainly don't want anything to be a re-bound relationship.

So whilst all that is happening, I come home form a few days away yesterday and find W has moved back into the house. She is now wanting us to work again at getting back together. As we are still technically married, and therefore should give it another go.

I'm so confused now, as there is part of me saying, give my marriage another go. After all I promised for better for worse and till death us do part, and I did mean that. Even if there are no feelings for my W now.

However there is another part of me that is saying, do I really want it to work. After all my W left me, is there another issue here etc. And if I do give it another go what do I do with this other female friend of mine, as I do have feelings for her.

Help.
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