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Old 14th July 2013, 01:49 PM   #6
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Need some help...

It looks like he is neglecting the actual marriage and you Lauren, although he may well be good on other things. Your marriage itself is a prime candidate for work to be done on it by the sound of it but would he be willing?

Affection is very important for a woman although it can be expressed in different ways. The book the Five Languages of Love point out that we all have a different love language. My wife's turned out to be touch, hugs holding hands etc. I had to learn this as it was not natural to me being from an orphan background. However it is much more a part of me than it ever was. It can be learned where there is a willingness. The other languages could be Quality Time, Words of Affirmation, Gifts or Acts of Service. All vehicles of affection when you look at it. The marriage can be revived but it takes two to work on it. Walking away is not an option where there is commitment. Do you think he would be willing to work on his marriage? It can be done where there is a will. It seems obvious to me that he has not learned affection in it's fullest expression. I think the book His "Needs Her Needs" would reveal to him a lot about affection. This would merge in with his need for sex and give it far more meaning. I know I have been there, not that I give affection just for sex, but because it is part of the love I owe to her. Nevertheless it does reap benefits in the bedroom which might just motivate him.

It is unlikely that he would be a porn addict just using it at work but there might just be something there which might be energising his sexual drive in the wrong way as Forever and 1okgal have pointed out.

Last edited by Raymond; 14th July 2013 at 07:14 PM.
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