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Old 19th December 2011, 11:49 PM   #165
Forever
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Join Date: Jul 2010
Posts: 1,408
Re: Married and lonely

Greetings George,

As far as being "accommodating" when it comes to sexual expression or desires, I would classify it much the same way as I would classify being "accommodating" to my spouse for his differences regarding food for instance. I am not going to dictate his particular times of hunger, nor his particular preferences...I am just going to make sure he gets what he wants even if I do not want the same thing for myself. Why? Because I love him and want his satisfaction. Otherwise I would be the selfish spouse. You are being starved on many different levels.

So you think you are being selfish for having desires that you wife does not have? How about she is being insensitive and selfish for knowing it about you and not giving in to your hearts desire from time to time? Why does everything have to be about her exclusively?

Part of sexual intimacy is exploring what the other person delights in and then be willing to provide it for them when they are interested in having it. This is no sin and should carry no stigma regardless of who initiates.

The fun thing about making love is that after one person takes the initiative, the other is then usually pulled or lured into that pleasure even if the idea does not originate from them at first. Why would someone want to label taking initiative for lovemaking in a negative light? That's like saying that if I sent out invitations for a dinner party, then I should suddenly feel guilty as if I should not have actually done that...even if my guest actually did show up. They are free to show up or to decline. They are "accommodating" to my invitation because they know that I am interested in sharing a great meal with them, and they are free to have fun or be bored.

We cant wait around for the one to have the same exact idea at the exact same time as the other...that is not reality.

Your wife is heavily oppressed...and lucky for her, you put up with it...and lucky for your children that she did not deny them the milk from her breast when they had need of it...it seems as if she has no interest in the needs of a man on the physical (sexual) level.

As for lights on or off, kissing or no kissing, oral or none...those are personal preferences and should be areas of negotiation...sometime you do it, other times not. How about using a soft candle instead of a light? How about you kissing her arms, legs, back and thighs instead of french kissing...how about she kisses your "member" instead of putting it in all the way into her mouth? There are compromises you know...and if she can be gracious enough to "accommodate" you with that, she may learn to enjoy it and who knows what else might develop over the course of time?

We all accommodate each other in various ways and for a variety of things...otherwise how can anyone be considered loving or giving or kind?

What is she so afraid of?

Last edited by Forever; 20th December 2011 at 01:50 AM.
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