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Old 15th June 2007, 08:05 AM   #10
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Re: Unhappily married to wrong person

Dear Karene......

It seems you married for the wrong reasons. He was in the wrong place in the right minute for you. You say you like nothing about him and even find him irritating. It is irritating if someone tries really hard to please you and you are totally turned off.

There is token sex you say. It sounds like a charity act in exchange for help in the garden or what he does for you. He visits the children and tries to help you and gets the "hand out" of your sex favor.
You consider to let him move back in as it is hard to make it without him. You NEED him.

Seems to me it is all about YOU on every point. You must have come from a very sad childhood to be so flat in emotion? That poor guy is breaking butt to do for you and the kids. Don't waste more years of his life just to provide for you as he will get nothing except to be hurt. Someday he may turn on you and beat your head into the wall. When somebody uses and uses there can be a rage a man can feel.

I see a ZERO chance for this marriage to work so long as the bottle is your companion and you exchange sex for favors.
You must have hated him a lot to disrespect him to that degree. You must have hated yourself even more. You have my sincere sympathy that you have lost yourself so far from what you should be.

I think the problems are not about HIM but about YOU. You drink... and drink a lot evidently. That is not about him. One who drinks often came from a home where alcohol was a problem. I urge you to get help for this with an AA group or some counselling help. It is expensive to drink
so if you buy a bottle that is taking away from your family for something better.
Let me tell you......... NOTHING will make a woman look like an old HAG more than drinking! It destroys your looks and your life. You owe it to your children to get some help so you can give them a chance. Then how about finding your own talents and abilities. Do you work or plan to get some training to care for your family? Don't expect him to carry you.... as a man can smarten up pretty fast. I think you would not make a good relationship with any man until you can heal yourself. You are programmed for failure until you do the work to change.

You are on the road to unhappiness and destruction. I urge you to wake up and take responsibility for your actions. Clean it up.
No one really wants to be around a boozer as they will only go downhill. You are no kid so you understand that you are going down a steep slope. Don't end up a bitter alcoholic who blames everyone else for personal choices. Do reach out for help and see if you can turn things around. I have faith you can make a better life in time.

Maybe one day you will see things from a different light. Sounds like your husband loves his children and sadly......loves you too.

YOU don't love you. Why? What happened to you? Maybe you can find that answer in the past.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 15th June 2007 at 08:38 AM.
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