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Old 9th October 2007, 10:44 AM   #14
clockwork orange
Registered User
Join Date: Oct 2007
Posts: 73
Re: Unhappily married to wrong person

Hi there

Not sure if my story will help here but if you can take something of value from it then praise God.

I left my husband shortly before our 9th anniversary. We are both Christians and from a fairly similar background. However, I was subjected to severe emotional blackmail by him over a period of years which eventually left me numb and unable to continue. Everything about him irritated and/or disgusted me. At this point I met someone (still a close friend) who made me realise that there was more to life and marriage than what I had. After much soul searching I left. I hasten to add that I did NOT enter into a relationship with this other person - didn't want anyone at all.

After a few weeks (we were living in the same house as we couldn't afford not to) he came and asked to talk to me. It was immediately evident that something had happened and I felt strongly that I should listen. Turned out he had been going to our local church and had sought counselling for some long standing issues he had. The change in him was nothing short of a miracle. We agreed to give our marriage another try, but that we had to take it slowly. Not to say there weren't other issues also, or that I had played no part in things going wrong (more about that another time). But when we both gave it over to God and allowed Him to work in each of our lives then He drew us closer together again. I did cross the line with my friend after this, but the grace of God is such that my husband forgave me instantly when I told him what I had done.

We have since moved to another house, and renewed our marriage vows with a firm commitment to always put God at the head. 18 months on we still have issues with ourselves and each other - but we have learned to communicate better, to focus on God and to support each other.

So all I can say is - give God a chance. A marriage breaking up is NOT what He wants, although sometimes its unavoidable. But give Him the chance - to work in each of you and in both of you together.
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