View Single Post
Old 6th April 2010, 06:18 PM   #22
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Those aren't fighting words, dear - READ THIS

Hi Lavene. Sorry I missed your answer. As this thread is always at the top I get in the habit of passing it.

Are you saying that your husband is saying he is not in love with you like in the article?

Personally I don't see your situation fits the article unless the above is true.

What seems to be happening here is that your husband seems to have an unhealthy desire to relate to the opposite sex. I don't think any wife would be happy with that. It seems that there may be a smokescrene of business going on but the underlying thing is still happening. We spoke that this could be coming from rejection perceived in his childhood but the twist with the female interest is another thing on top of it, but maybe coming out of it. Whether he has rejection or not doesn't justify wrong behaviour. A christian man should behave with some decorum and not even give the appearance of evil, let alone doing evil.

A thought that comes to me is that he may have always wanted to be successful with women but never was and now sees the chance to achieve that, possibly as an answer to the rejection he feels. In reality once we are married to the one we love all that behaviour is irrelevant and could easily be read as unfaithfulness.

I don't see how you can ignore that behaviour. If a spouse says they don't feel they love you that is something else but any christian would agree that his behaviour is highly questionable. If it is all above board he should be able to see them with you, so that you know what is going on. Why can't he bring them home so that you can both advise them? Our pastor would never counsel a girl on his own but would bring his wife or another female. Somehow he is not taking you into his trust on the matter. How can you be expected to ignore that?

I don't think the above article really fits your situation Lavene. If he doesn't respond keep praying of course, but I think he is stepping over boundaries personally and has problems, but one cannot force a solution as he has freewill. The fact cannot be ignored that we are all sexual beings and need to live in such a way so that we are not exposed to things where our marriage could be compromised. It seems that he is putting his marriage second in certain situations when it should come first.

Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote