touchdownlexus

Thanks Ray. I dunno scriptures n I dun go to church so I dunno these things that u clarified. Occasionally I do look into online bible but that's it.

I think I'm on my 5th stage of grieving.... Acceptance. And not as miserable as before. Or vulnerable. But I found that he's been gtng regular email advice from some marriage counselling website. So lets c whr it goes. I think no more 1/2 hearted attempts for marriage. Full on or all out. A marriage break 99% of the time happens cuz of flaws on both parties. Getting closer to God has made me stop banging on abt the injustice in everything and centre myself and look within me. The muck and garbage inside of me is overwhelming. I need to fix that first then worry abt my partner's (whoever it is) shortcomings. Cuz if I dun clear my mess I'm only taking this junk to my next relationship.
I'm ever thankful to The Lord for making me STOP and look inside me and realise my mistakes in the relationship. Strangely that makes me not accepting but tolerant towards his flaws. Ivan see his perspective... Kinda. Of course would never know wat goes on inside a depressed mans head. Tolerance is the start acceptance is the destination.
But before getting to acceptance we have ended this. But if it hasn't ended I wouldn't have turned this new leaf. Maybe I'm jus being philosophical cuz I jus woke up and still a bit groggy. Or maybe this feeling is here to stay. Either ways I need to read this post everytime I feel hard done by.

I need to say that I used to write a journal which helped when I cudnt communicate. But this is even better even when I dun get rreplies to my post it feels like someone is listening. No doubt replies make it better. But it's not like writing summin that only I can read. So once again thank you, u wonderful people.