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Old 4th June 2013, 07:56 PM   #1
carmen
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Join Date: Jun 2013
Posts: 2
Question Porn addiction - Leave him?

We've been married a year and a half and have no children. I'm 35, he's 40.

My husband does not want to have sex with me. It's been this way the past three years, when we were living together before marriage. He said it was because he felt I was controlling.

I knew he had always watched porn, but I didn't know the extent of his viewing until today. I think he's addicted. He watches only "mature porn"/granny porn and watches it almost every day, up to three times a day. He also told me once that when he was in his early twenties, he had fallen in love with the mother of his girlfriend.

Recently, he has started checking out websites of swingers clubs and dating sites for mature women.

I look like I'm in my 20s, so I'm far from his "type".

We've fought over his preference of porn to sex with me before. Nothing has changed. I don't mind him watching porn from time to time (I do too), but when it becomes an addiction that is damaging and taking over intimacy between a couple, I think we do have a problem.

Also, I'm not sure I'd want to have a child with someone with a porn addiction.
We've been talking about having a child.

So I'm seriously considering leaving, but I don't want to make a hasty, emotionally driven decision. Of course it's been very painful and has wrecked havoc on my mind. I'm bipolar, it's under control, but this is destabilising me.

Yet he's a good friend and has been very loving and supportive to me. He tells me he loves me every day, and in his eyes I see tenderness and love.
It would have been a good marriage, were it not for the intimacy issue.

Finally, I'm not sure how to go about this as I'm also in the wrong, having checked his browsing history. Clearly he would be enraged by my intrusion of his privacy. I checked because I find that I cannot trust him, given the lack of intimacy and my knowledge of his preference for another type of women. It's a constant weight to bear.
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