[puffingirl]

My first husband looked at porn quite a lot and some weird stuff too. I kept finding magazines as well as websites. He used to watch it and say why cant you look like that? I felt like he did not find me attractive anymore. I started to diet thinking if i was thinner i would be better it developed into an eating disorder. When it ended i improved to an acceptable level. My second husband used to look at it. Whenever i found it i used to get upset asking him if he found me attractive. He said he did but likes to look. I began my eating disorder again and still have it to an extent. He says he does not look but i suspect he still does. He says because it bothers me and he can understand why he wont. But to be honest the way i feel about him now i am not bothered. This needs tackling before your self esteem is gone.