Thread: Advice please
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Old 19th June 2013, 02:16 AM   #9
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Re: Advice please

One never knows how destiny plays out. I do think we can know when love is "right." My brother married a girl he knew 3 days. He just got out of the Marines as a young man and stopped in Nebraska on a flight layover to visit with our grandmother for a few days. He met a girl who worked as a secretary there who was raised on an Iowa farm. She was 18 and he was 22 at the time. He married her after 3 days together and brought her back home with him to Va.

That was in 1956. They are married 57 years. I met my husband and married him on the 25th day. We are together 33 years. If all the other things fall into place as similar beliefs/religion, background, and goals for the future, time is irrevelent. One has to be willing to do all the things necessary to make love survive. I know another relative who knew his wife 7 years before they married, and the marriage didn't last.

Now if one goes to an AA ward, a jail, or a mental ward to find a partner, obviously that stacks the deck against any real success in a relationship. If one knows that the other person lies and cheats, then those are character issues that will never be "fixed." The best way to know about another is to find out about their history. It is true that most people are happier with someone most like themselves. Like attracts like. If we are not alike, we may think we need to change that person. Changing another person is a fast road to miserable. That is what I found along the way.

When a relationship/marriage fails we have to carry our own baggage. We must analyze what part our own shortcomings may have brough to the mix. Did we know someone had these problems, yet marched in and hoped they would go away "change for us?" Sometimes we have to trust in the Universe, don't we?

Last edited by 1aokgal; 19th June 2013 at 06:06 AM.
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