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Old 6th May 2014, 01:13 PM   #4
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Am i sinning and how do i stop?

Originally Posted by Godevenlovesme View Post
so the fact that I fantasied about another man - have I committed adultery? Is my husband not at fault regards withholding sex and not meeting my needs? this thought makes me resent him - am I wrong on this point. As I wont go anywhere else and husband wont do anything to change how do I cope with the longing and wanting but most of all stop the fantasying? I try fantasying using my husband but its too real and painful regards rejection over years. And then it starts me wanting him when i know i cant have him.

how do I stop the sinning? how do I stop the resentment that his actions lead me sin even though I know only we can sin no one makes us.

Anyone got an answer? What do I do to cope? Not sure what God wants me to do. The emotional and physical longing is the greatest issue. If i could control this I'd be able to cope better with my lot.
I realise this was your question GLM which I didn't really touch on. In the chapter I quoted 1 Cor 7 it goes on to say make sure you come together again so that Satan does not tempt you. A situation has been created where you are under severe temptation and God knows that. The fact that you are trying to do the right thing speaks volumes on the faith that you have. I think it is a dangerous area that you fantasise sexually about about someone you know at times but at the same time you have been put into a very vulnerable position. It would be easy to say just go ahead and don't feel guilty but that wouldn't be right either. I would say continue to fight the battle but if you fall don't come under condemnation. You are doing your best under the circumstances. The real problem is in the marriage and your husband's failure to meet your need. That need is legitimate and normal. I still think the ultimate answer is for your husband's eyes to be opened through your prayers and hopefully the right counseling from his pastor or other sources. It has to come out into the open somehow for it to be dealt with properly even though the nature of it is private and personal. There are certain pastor types who will be skilled on this sort of thing and who will be able to bring some kind of gentle rebuke to your husband.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote