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Old 18th June 2009, 12:46 AM   #13
crazymonkey
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Re: Is anyone brave enough to read the whole thing and offer some words of wisdom???

Hi Helen thanks for posting!

I'll answer Raymond's question and respond to your post...

She doesn't want us to date other people... that's all she's really made clear which I don't have a problem with because I would still like to be together...

I think the problem for her has been that she went from High School with a ton of rules and no independence to College with some independence but her parents never really let go enough for her to be able to fall on her face and handle all of her own stuff... she met me and I was stable and very comfortable helping her or actually when we combined everything I just did it all for her and I think that once she wanted to get married she was ok with the thought but that meant she'd never experience that independence she's longing for. I've been trying to push responsibilities on her just for her own sake but I could never get her to do things and I would have to because if I didn't it would negatively effect both of our lives since things were combined. I think she is using this as a way to not lose me but still have her independence.... I think. I don't know what sparked this desire to suddenly just be completely on her own with everything but I think it will better in the long run regardless of our relationship.

That's the only thing I can figure out... I could be wrong but something seems off she says she doesn't know if she wants to be single but if she does she may stay here with me because we're both legally resp for this house and it's not affordable for either of us to leave the other one here... we only have about 4 more months on the lease and I'm hoping we can reach some sort of conclusion by then. If she wants to be single and live here to ease into doing things for herself that's fine I can do that... I don't think I could sit here and watch her date other people though and she knows that and I wouldn't expect her to do that either.

I have to go up in the area for a doctors appointment for my back and I'll be about 45min away from where she's staying... she agreed to see me so we'll see where things go from there. I really don't know what to expect.

Oh, and if we do completely break it off and she wants to date other people I'll do everything in my power to try to save the friendship... she really is my best friend. It would be like losing 2 of the most important relationships in my life. I'm trying to give her what she needs in the hope of her wanting to save the relationship but if we stay just friends it will be purely for the friendship... as crazy as that sounds.

Thank you both for the help!

Take Care!
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