Thread: Baronness
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Old 9th December 2011, 10:16 PM   #268
Baroness
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Re: Husband doesn't want sex

I'm not sure the word 'grudgingly' applies. He doesn't overly complain about carrying most of the load but would just like help, those were his exact words. He just does the best he can but since he doesn't get a lot of money it gets frustrating when something happens, like the van breaking down. He never blames me for the way things are, and in fact says he knows it isn't my fault.

However; that has nothing to do with our personal relationship, as far as I'm concerned. He can carry the load and have a good attitude and yet still not sleep with me or marry me. I don't feel that this is good enough for me. I might as well live alone; I sleep alone and watch things I like on my computer, I shop alone and I visit my friends without him.

The only thing we really do together is eat, and then that isn't even the case because most of the time I'm sitting at the table and he is not. It doesn't really both me except on cold mornings when I would like someone to snuggle with. I wondered if he had some kind of disease and was protecting me by not sleeping with me but since he's been with me for so long I had to rule that out.

Besides; I would have found evidence of that. We're back to the erectile dysfunction or low sex drive and you may have a point, 1aokgal, that it is mental. How he is mentally has a lot to do with the way he acts, he can only handle one problem at a time and will sit there and dwell on that one problem until it is solved.

Enough said about him. He hasn't slept with me in a long time and has no apparent sexual desire so what else is there to say? We spend most of our time apart even when he is well. As soon as he stopped putting effort into being with me, this relationship was doomed. The only reason it survived this long is because I've been patient and understanding and didn't want to give up.

But there comes a time when you have to sit back and examine where your life is going and I have done this and it is going nowhere; at least not with this man. Yes, we have some good memories but I can't live on memories and I'm starting to think there is really something wrong with him in his thinking process. I think life can be exciting for me again but not as long as I'm shackled to him.

Our finances or other things happening has nothing to do with his lack of desire to be with me and that started long ago so any excuses he gives me (and he's stopped giving excuses) are irrelevant. Even a woman with a kind heard and generous nature and has the patience of a saint, has to give up eventually and face facts. I'm not saying I am perfect but I am saying I have treated him well and loved him with all my heart and I feel he is treating me unfairly.

Anyway, life goes on and we do the best we can. If he's fool enough to lose me then so be it. Do I really want to stay with a man who does nothing to ensure that I stay with him? A little effort? Something? He has the benefit of a wife without having a wife and even his ex wife didn't treat him this well.

I'm beginning to think all men are flawed in one way or another. Either with cheating, drinking, drugs, porno watching, anger problems, or just being stupid.