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Old 19th July 2004, 09:41 AM   #5
mandy B.
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Re: child produced from affair with married man

I wish I didn't understand what you are going through but I do. I am the one who had an affair with a married man and had a child from this. I was married myself. My husband and I worked through "many" problems. We prayed about the correct decisions for ourselves, our children and the baby. We choose to keep the baby and wanted to raise him as our own. We felt for our marriage survival and the healthiest choice for the baby would be to keep him from having to do "visitations". He needed to grow up as normal as possible. After many tears, prayers and arguements my husband was given the right to adopt him. I am so blessed to have a husband that is not only forgiving, loving and gracious but, wants to do the will of God.

It is still dificult at times. The biological father has done an awesome thing and stepped out of our life and temporarally out of the babys. We don't plan on keeping this a secret from him but, to give him a strong foundation first and bits of information at a time till he is old enough to understand the complexity of the situation.

This was right for us. It is not the right decision for everyone.
Three and a half years old now and a wonderful part of this family.


Do what is right for you. Set your ground rules on what you can handle.You need to be his first priority. Be loving if you can though. Don't forget to find out what got you two to the place where he felt he needed something somewhere else. It wasn't another person, it was a need not being met or communication gaps.
God heals many wounds!


We serve an awsome God that heals and mends and forgives.
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