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Old 23rd June 2007, 07:46 AM   #23
snooples
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Re: Do christian/atheist marriages work?

Quote:
Originally Posted by Liz View Post
Dear Marian

There is a lot of wisdom in what the others here have said to you. Someone who really values you and cares for you is hard to find and sadly marriages between Christians can also break down. Becoming a Christian doesn't make you perfect or enable you not to make mistakes. It should open up the opportunities for grace and forgiveness when we do make mistakes and it should help us to do what is right and loving if we are really seeking God's help all the time.

Having the same values is important in most marriages and when you have children there will be tensions if you can't agree about what to teach them about the why's of life.

The bible says that it is not good for a believer to marry a non-believer. In this it is pointing towards some of the problems about different values and bringing up children. The bible also says that if you become a Christian then you shouldn't abandon your spouse because they don't accept Jesus as their Saviour ( I Cor ch 7).

But you touch on an issue which is probably hard for non-Christians to understand - what will life after death hold for a non-believer. I can only speak from the point of view of our own spiritual journey. I made a fresh commitment to Jesus when our son was born. I knew then I needed to know what I believed so I could guide him as he grew up. At that time my husband didn't know what he believed and I struggled with this for some time. I tried to bargain with God, that I would live for him if he would get David to follow him too. In the end I accepted that I couldn't bargain with God like this and handed David over to God, trusting that he would take care of him. Whatever David decided I was going to follow Jesus. However that didn't mean that I just went my own way. Part of loving God was to lovingly accept David and recognise that caring for him and my marriage was a way of serving God. Eventually David chose to follow Jesus too and it means so much to us that we can share that together. I am not sure that we could be as close as we are without that.

When I accepted that I couldn't bargain with God or force the situation, I had to face up to the fact that I couldn't be sure that David would be with me and Jesus in eternity and that was very painful.

My situation differs from yours in that we were married before the issue arose. If I was facing the same decision before marriage, I would want to be sure that God wanted me to marry the person I was in love with. When we first fall in love we find it hard to see things clearly – we just want to be with the one we are in love with. If we want our marriage is to last, we both need to have the kind of love and commitment that will take us through the difficult times. Why not think about what some of those challenges may be and what impact your different beliefs may make at such times. There are also a host of marriage preparation programmes like Engaged Encounter, Prepare and FOCCUS which can help you both to think these things through. Perhaps you might do something like that together so you can explore together what the impact one ach of you will be of having these different beliefs.

Liz
Can you not see the life destroying ,heartless ,corruption that you are advocating ? I have experienced this mindlessness firsthand . I know what I believe . My values are that of honesty, truth , and love . Lets face it ..if you don`t get your way ..your going to bail ! Apparently the twisted authoritarianism of man made scripture can even make you turn your back on your dearest of loved ones,and encourage others to do the same as if it were a virtue! What greater hell can there be than that? You disgust me .
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