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Old 24th February 2011, 07:03 PM   #19
Raymond
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Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Living in a Sexless Marriage.....

It is a very difficult problem Pari. My own worry is the eunuch problem which would never be sorted if that was the case as he wouldn't be called to marriage. If that were the case you would not need to feel guilty as it would be better that he wasn't married in spite of how many tears he sheds. Guilt is never a good motivator to do the right thing.

The only other option I can see is that his shyness and awkwardness are genuine although it seems after all this time that shouldn't be the case. He now says that it is because of your response that he is not forward but you have not the confidence that he is sexually mature enough to follow through. I am sure you do not want him to push it if the desire is not really there within him.

Could be that he got a blockage through some childhood incident but you say you have been through all this.

Do you believe he has any sexual desires? You would know that better than anyone. I am thinking that if he is not up to full IC straight away that maybe you could start in little ways perhaps? Maybe a HJ in a darkened room to awaken him? See what the response is when the pressure is off of him? He would just have to be passive and not pressurised to perform. Perhaps a little music? Privately without telling him or pressurising him you would know if there was any normal drive there. If it was positive you could gradually move on from there over a period of time. A kind of coaching. Could bear fruit or could reveal something you were afraid of. If you do try it you would have to make it positive and patient as any wrong signal from you could scupper the whole thing.
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