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Old 19th February 2012, 11:20 AM   #3
Join Date: Dec 2006
Posts: 6,409
Re: Advice needed. 10 year relatiosnhip

I've read this briefly and don't want to cut in on Forever. She talks about the root of the problem which I think is important. Doctors usually only treat the symptoms.

I don't know what the root is but can see that one of your belief systems centres around the thought that now that I am not attractive, having had my child, he will not find me attractive. Because of that belief you rejected his advances and the initial rejection came from you not him. Rejection of self. Had you not made that decision there is no proof that he would not have carried on as normal but you made the decision inwardly for him by rejecting yourself. Love is far deeper than just physical appearance although it is important we make the best of ourselves.

You are still the same person he loved and all of us have self worth. None of us are write-offs. Certainly not in God's eyes. He loved you and married you. Your self esteem should not be only in appearance which is vanishing away. Marriage is much bigger than that. If you reject yourself he doesn't stand a chance. Marriage is about acceptance and building each other up. I think you need to accept yourself so that he can accept you. We don't need to work for it. Perhaps you did as a child and that may be the problem.
Raymond is offline   Reply With Quote