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Old 7th April 2014, 05:10 PM   #1
lisa14
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Join Date: Apr 2014
Posts: 4
Unhappy Newly Married & want a Divorce Help Please!!

I`m going to try to make this as short as possible… I met a guy (my husband) and was totally wooed by him. He was everything I asked for in a guy… tall, believes in God, good family, put his family first, caring , willing to work out any issues that pop up well, kind and good with my daughter . We dated for a while and five months later he asked me to marry him which I said YES. Through the engagement I had concerns we should date more and have a longer engagement but he said he wanted the wedding within a year. I agreed to this thinking I was just having cold feet, or just afraid because in the past I was engaged to my daughter`s father which fall through (he cheated on me). I also felt I had these under lining feelings for my daughter`s father but knew it was best to move on, he cheated why should I try??. He wanted to try to work it out but I refused, it was a very painful time in my life because I loved him so much. So my fiancée and I got married in early Nov 2014 and it was nice but the moment I came back from the honeymoon I knew I made a mistake. Yes this man is a wonderful person, provider, caring , family and good to me but we had no chemistry. Him and I are religious so while dating were not intimate. Once we tried it was empty for me and we have no emotional connection, no chemistry , lack of that friendship most relationships have , that lovers bond. Why did I marry him ? Honestly he is a great man, from a good family and loves me and I love him but I don’t feel in love with him , I don’t feel I have the emotional bond , intimate side of us is lacking .. I love just his character , his persona. I`m still in love with my daughter`s father and I know I shouldn’t have gotten married with these feelings …maybe I should’ve at least tried to forgive and had closure there but everything went so fast and I was hurt. Now I`m married to what most would say is a great guy (has his flaws of course) with no emotional connection , not in love with him but care for him and his family deeply and I don’t know what to do . I have expressed my feelings to my husband and told him I feel Im not in love and there is no emotional connection and he says we will work on it and try to get it , at the moment we are separated and seeing how it goes, get that spark , just go out , I`m very depressed about this, Im confused, I feel foolish for going this far because I do take marriage seriously . But doesn’t that come naturally meaning love, shouldn’t I be there already, do I stay married ? , do I leave now while its early so we can both find what we deserve ? do I try with my daughter’s father once the marriage is voided ? do I risk true love for a good man and who I know would be a good husband ? … I don’t know what to do ? Any constructive advice will help? Anyone that got married and realized you made a mistake? Or even married the wrong guy? A little more inside on my daughter`s father… he has more flaws than my husband also, wasn’t really as assertive and a little more self absorbed but we always had a great friendship and I always still love him. I think my other problem was I tried to marry someone prefect and I realized no one is prefect and just because it is doesn’t mean its perfect for me.
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