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Old 30th September 2015, 04:11 AM   #1
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Join Date: Sep 2015
Posts: 1
Confused and scared

Hello everyone

This is the first time I have written on a forum so I will try my best not to waffle.

My husband and I have been married for 2 and a half years. We had our first child in 2011 via IVF. This was not a pleasant experience and one that I was happy not to have to go through again. A couple of years passed and my husband started putting the pressure on to have another baby. As we were not married, I said I wanted to be married he proposed and we got married. It was a lovely day.

6 months after our wedding we started IVF again and it resulted in another beautiful baby. It has been decided since that we will not be trying for any more children.

A little bit about my husband and I. He works very hard and earns good money. I am a stay at home mum. My eldest goes to childcare/ kinder 2 days a week. I do everything around the house. Cooking, cleaning, washing, lawn mowing, looking after the children etc etc.

My husband goes on at least 2 'boys' trips a year and frequently goes out for dinner, drinks, functions for 'work'. It has recently become evident to me that he would rather go out with his friends and not have me there. There has been a couple of occasions where he has told me that partners were not invited but I have then found out they were - and he knew about it. Or he has been invited to things and I have to ask if I'm invited. If yes then it's up to me to organise everything. He is not proactive at all.

I really don't mind staying home with children as the youngest is only 8 months old and I don't feel comfortable leaving him with anyone but my mum anyway. The problem I have is that when he does go out he doesn't get home until very late (3am usually), has had quite a few drinks and even when we have plans the next day.

My husband is a terrible communicator and I'm not much better. We both bottle things up (me probably more so). I feel like as I don't earn any money and he supports me and my children 100% that I kind of feel obliged to let him do what he wants. But that then leaves me feeling angry with him which in turn goes into the silent treatment until I can't be bothered anymore and then it repeats next month and so on and so on.

I'm really stuck with what to do. He actually suggest counselling which I assumed was couples counselling but then he booked me into see someone alone to work on my issues. Needless to say I cracked it and he cancelled the appointment and we went back to square one.

Does anyone else ever feel like this? Am I overreacting? Being stupid? Is this normal?

Please help!!! Thanks for taking the time to read this. I hope it makes sense and isn't too long.

Sharon xx
SharonDay is offline   Reply With Quote