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Old 2nd April 2009, 10:39 PM   #1
Ageing Grace
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Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 738
Redefine the marriage contract?

This is another artile from the Times, entitled "Love Lessons from Divorce". In it, Naomi Woolf says
Quote:
The divorced can teach us a few things about domestic bliss.
Her premise is that, after divorce, parents make conscientous & legally-binding agreements regarding childcare and finances - plus, both partners gain enough free time to invest in new romantic liaisons.

Woolf says that, if we made these legally-binding arrangements upon marriage, we wouldn't need so many divorces because everything's in place for a well-managed family, financial, and romantic life. I think she has a strong point! She further says that civil partnerships, for example gay marriages (in the UK), lacking a pre-existing legal structure, have to get these matters sorted out by contract prior to commitment and therefore have a better chance of survival than traditional marriage.

I'm quoting her final paragraphs. You can read the whole article here.
Quote:

Let’s also get the state out of the marriage union. In spite of the dress and the flowers, marriage is a business contract. Women, generally, don’t understand this, until it hits them over the head upon divorce. Let’s take a lead from our gay and lesbian friends, who, without state marriage, often create domestic partnerships with financial autonomy and unity spelt out. A heterosexual parallel: celebrate marriage with a religious or emotional ceremony — leave the state out of it — and create a business- or domestic-partner contract aligning the couple legally.


Finally: our absurd cultural assumption is that once you’re married, your spouse is supposed to accept you “as you are”, but when you are courting you are expected to be considerate, charming and seductive. If you’re married, I suggest you forget that, and treat your spouse as if he or she is that hot single person across the hall


AG
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