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Old 5th September 2011, 07:10 AM   #82
Shasha
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 29
Re: Married and lonely

Hi again,
Baroness, Raymond, Helen, chosen, and forever, you guys are a God sent! When I read some of your views, it has brought a tear or two to my eyes, mainly because, I believe the Lord is using you to encourage me at this time. Thanks so much for your wise words.

The church I attend has no support groups to help married people, like me, so thank God for the course I am now enrolled in, which provides for such support.

My household is not filled with anger, turmoil and resentment. No, far from it. Because I want to maintain a happy and comfortable atmosphere, I do not nag at my h at all, although I had done so for a short time. If anyone comes to our house, they will never know that there is a problem in our marriage, although people have suspected by some of the things that have happened outside the house. For instance someone asked me if things were okay, when my husband irresponsibly forgot to pick up our son from school on more than one occasion.

Also, his after school teacher suspected something was wrong when he did not take any interest in our son's French class, by what she saw. She said that I did not have to say anything to her, but she knows that something is not right with him. But what could I say? If they are seeing things, without me saying anything at all, you can imagine the extent of our problem.

I have never had an argument with my h in front of my friends or his family or relatives. I try to keep civil conversations with him, when our son is at school. Our son knows that something is wrong, by the questions he asks me about his dad. Sometimes, I do not have the answers, so I just tell him to pray or go ask his dad.

Some people may be supportive of men, despite their bad behaviour, esp. in a marriage. Some tend to be even male sympathizers, no matter what they do. Well, I am so sorry that others feel that they have to defend such men. It seems they have a soft heart, when it comes to men in general and try to justify what they do.

The statistics of men killing their wives or partners is very high and domestic violence is on the rise, for one reason or another. Our society needs to dig into the reasons why men lash out and mistreat their wives and even sometimes their own children.

Again, just to reiterate, my home is free from arguments and I do not hate my h. Yes, I am upset with what he is doing to himself, his home and his marriage, but as I've said before, I do hurt and I am human. I am also not going to sit back and make him abuse me in anyway.

My fighting back involves trusting the Lord, like I've never done before and focusing on Him. I do things to make me happy and at the same time plan for my future and for my son's. Whether people like it or not, that's my own defence.

Oh, by the way, my h does not object to me planning for my future and for doing things to make me happy. He has never expressed that he hated what I do. As long as he has his space and can do what he wants, he does not care about anything else. That's just the way he is.

Thanks and God bless.
Shasha
__________________
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
That whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

"For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world,
But that the world through Him
might be saved." JN 3:16,17

Grace be with you all.
God bless!
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