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Old 5th September 2011, 04:10 PM   #84
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Re: Married and lonely

I sympathize with anyone in an unhappy marriage. No one can take sides when two people are in pain and have lost years of their lives and a marriage fails. It is a bad situation and one that takes work to plan for a better future. I also believe in fair conduct. I believe when a man makes an effort for his family and it goes as nothing, rather than for a woman to say she appreciates those efforts, that she doesn't do her part. I don't agree with a mindset that a woman call her husband an idiot under any circumstances. That is gross disrespect when he is the one who keeps a roof over a womans' head. If one can pray, one can realize this is unchristian behavior.

I think it is wrong to use another as a meal ticket rather than be honest to say," I intend to leave, the marriage is not working." Sasha mentioned "working for her retirement." In order to do that in the US a woman needs to be work full time and pay into the Social Security system. Nobody can live on less than $200 month at age 65, unless they find another man to support them. It seems a woman who doesn't care anymore would go ahead and move back home and put those escape plans into motion. That would be better for all parties. Other women here did just that. Perhaps she is afraid to hold a real job.

Now there is no attempt to put quality into the marriage. One cannot expect changes in another without doing a share. In the love she might have shared with this man it would be worth to see if they could work through some issues together. There is belief he wants to do better and changes might work. The child internalizes hostility in a household so keeping a surface situation is not the best for him. If it is true it is over, this man has a right to know so he can plan his future as well.

Holding onto a marriage for convenience robs the other person of honesty and a chance to begin anew. We don't know how God might be working in this man to change him. It is obvious he does make an effort with his family. That would be a beginning if a woman cared enough to build on that. A loving heart can do many things. The problem I see is to play with a hidden agenda which robs all.

Last edited by 1aokgal; 5th September 2011 at 07:25 PM.
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