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Old 20th August 2011, 02:45 AM   #31
Baroness
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Re: Married and lonely

I know what you mean about not having any answers and just trusting the Lord, but I think he sometimes wants us to just use good judgement. I don't think he wants us to be unhappy. I am also trying to just do the best I can and I also think I'm losing my mind sometimes.

I just don't understand how a man who looked forward to making love suddenly has no interest at all. We had such a good sex life and now its been many months and I think he prefers to m and I don't understand that because of what we had for years. He acts the same, is nice and thoughtful sometimes and he pretends like there is nothing wrong.

I wonder sometimes why he just doesn't leave if he isn't interested and I asked him this and he said he is interested, is still attracted to me and would only leave if I asked him to because I was unhappy. I am but how can I ask him to leave? Not not anyway. I have asked God what to do and felt frustrated because I don't know what to do.

I was out walking today and I told him that he felt so far from me (God) that he hasn't spoken to me in a long time and I feel alone and is said three simple words; Trust in me. I said I do trust him and just hope he still has a plan for my life, but he's in there now watching some dumb movie and has some nudity in it, but the scene was quick and I didn't know what to say since I've gotten on his case about this before.

I personally think we are over because there is nothing between us anymore, and yet I still find myself running in there to get his opinion on my latest hat, like he would even have an opinion but he's all I got. When I get excited about something I want to share it with him and I keep forgetting that there is a vast amount of space between us now.

He doesn't even try and I know you must feel like I do, confused and alone. You have your son to distract you but my children are older, 29 and 35 so there don't live with me. I have a good relationship with my children, like best friends and they understood when I left their fathers and was glad I did. They didn't really miss a father because we had lots of fun, always.

All I can suggest is to figure out what is best for you and your son. It sounds like he is aware of problems between you and for a son to feel like his father doesn't want to spend time with him, is worse than being without a father because his father is in the home, just chooses not to take time with him.

I know what I'm talking about because my father was hardly around and we didn't do much together but we did do some things but when he would go away because he was an alcoholic, I would think it was me. I hope your son doesn't think that he has done something to warrant this kind of behavior. Children only know that their parent isn't doing things with them and of course they will think its because of them.

It was a horrible way to grow up. I would continue to pray about things but if you think this isn't going to change, you have to think about yourself and your son. I stayed with my ex because of the children but I wasn't doing any of us any favors by doing so. I will pray for you and God can give you the strength to get through this.

I do want to point out, however, that it might not change and you will have to deal with him the way he is. Ask yourself if you are prepared to live this way for the rest of your life. God bless you.
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