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Old 23rd August 2011, 07:22 AM   #44
Shasha
Registered User
 
Join Date: Dec 2007
Posts: 29
Re: Married and lonely

Hi there, guys,

Very interesting comments from all of you. Thanks for that! You guys seem to be almost like a support network in disguise, although we’re all aware of the unanswered questions and pressing issues still to be dealt with. However, of course, it is only by God’s revelation and leading, that we can solve and conquer them.

Chamomile posted that…."These men" (according to what I oft read on this site..) all seem to love their porn in their life and they all tend to be very passive when it comes to REAL intimacy with their partners. Maybe, they even hate real women?”

Yes, you’ve hit the nail on the head. I believe so myself…that my husband does not know how to express his love for me and this is one of the main problems. He thinks that bringing home a card when there is an occasion like Christmas, etc. will suffice, for the wrong in his life. He takes after his mother, who just showers her (adult) children with material things to replace “love”.

What they don’t realize is that it takes a lot of communication, consideration of the other person’s well being and expression of love to make a relationship work (in kindness, sacrifice & patience).

My h’s 2 younger brothers (one in mid 30’s & the other early 40’s) are still unmarried and one of them just cannot seem to be interested in women. He will go out with a certain woman and then after about a year or so from their initial date, he will break up with the woman. This has gone on from since I’ve known my husband (13 yrs).

There is something just not right with those guys and only they can sort out their mysterious lives. This makes you wonder why they choose to shove real women away.

Hi there Raymond. You mentioned that…“It looks like he came in with this problem which is hardly a foundation for a good marriage.”

Again, you are so right about this. I believe also that when I met him initially, he pretended to be someone else, whom I fell in love with. Today, he is not the same man I married 13 years ago. I have come to know a different D. With all this, I can now make up my mind whether or not I want to stay with him and I have.
As far as I can see, there is no reconciliation, unless the Lord touches his heart and he comes to terms with his sad situation and makes a complete u-turn with his life, in true repentance for his sake and for the Lord’s. The question is, will it ever happen and when?

Thanks.
God bless.
Sha
__________________
"For God so loved the world that He gave His only begotten Son,
That whoever believes in Him should not perish, but have everlasting life."

"For God did not send His son into the world to condemn the world,
But that the world through Him
might be saved." JN 3:16,17

Grace be with you all.
God bless!
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