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Old 22nd September 2011, 03:28 AM   #17
1aokgal
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Re: Wife wants "space" and is moving out

Dear Loving..

Promise yourself you indeed get counselling for your own needs. Try to sort out the last year as you see it. See if you can understand things as I suggested, from her view. If you don't search for answers you may take your baggage forward into life ahead. That doesn't suggest things were all your fault but it would help if all the issues might be understood. We all can make mistakes but maturity is to learn from them.

Yes, she sounded very fixed in her intent and quite a shock for you since you didn't see it coming.
You see her priorities are different than yours. Deal with this in such a way that you help her and don't cause more stress. If you have lost here, you still must have a working relationship with her in the years ahead where the child is concerned. That is very sad to hear she is moving out but she has known for some time how she felt. It doesn't reach this point overnight. I would bet these events set into motion on the discussion you both had when she told you she wanted to be home to raise the child. That was a critical issue for her.

As I said, a woman with such a precarious health issue feels time is precious. Get some help for yourself and keep things calm on dealing with her. That is just motherly advise. I am sorry for your pain.

In your conflict in this marriage did things get so heated or were arguments ever physical? I ask because when that happens in a marriage it is the deal breaker that propels a partner to the door. I guess I ask if there were anger issues? Couples can get in some doozy discussions but there is a boundary that means things can't be worked out. I hope your family will help you.
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