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chosen · 13th December 2011, 05:32 AM

baroness
No, you are not being abused or cheated on, that is what I said to you ages ago. He isnt a bad man and has weaknesses and failings just as we all do. I was never the one who thought you should leave him, but I do find it so hard to hear you put him down all the time when I know your words are so important, and that they can build up or tear down. What we think and say can change our lives for better or for worse. Things did change when you told us that you werent after all, married, because then you werent in that position of having made that covenant relationship with him, and that makes a vast difference.You hadnt made those promises of 'for better or for worse', and so werent committed in the same way.

As for me having a husband who supports me, we have a joint buisiness which supports us both. We both contribute to the buisiness. Please also remember that I was married before and I had to make a decision to end that marriage after 23 years, and spent 6 years as a single mum to three children. I know what it is like to have to end a relationship with a very very uncertain future with 3 dependants. Unlike you, I didnt have any parents or close family for support either. My parents were both dead then. It was me and the kids, and of course God.

I do pray that you will be able to make a decision soon, as all of this going to and fro in your mind cant be good for you or him. It will wear you down and drain you. In the end you will have to make a decision and stick with it, otherwise you will be in this situation for the rest of your life, just not knowing what to do, and spending a large part of your life being discontent and unhappy.
Theres nothing wrong with you staying together and just being companions, if thats what you choose, but whichever way you go, I hope that God gives you peace with that decision and that you can make the best of either staying or going. I think that it will be a relief for you(and him)when you have decided one way or the other.

13th December 2011, 05:32 AM	#276
chosen Registered User Join Date: Aug 2009 Posts: 5,794	Baronness baroness No, you are not being abused or cheated on, that is what I said to you ages ago. He isnt a bad man and has weaknesses and failings just as we all do. I was never the one who thought you should leave him, but I do find it so hard to hear you put him down all the time when I know your words are so important, and that they can build up or tear down. What we think and say can change our lives for better or for worse. Things did change when you told us that you werent after all, married, because then you werent in that position of having made that covenant relationship with him, and that makes a vast difference.You hadnt made those promises of 'for better or for worse', and so werent committed in the same way. As for me having a husband who supports me, we have a joint buisiness which supports us both. We both contribute to the buisiness. Please also remember that I was married before and I had to make a decision to end that marriage after 23 years, and spent 6 years as a single mum to three children. I know what it is like to have to end a relationship with a very very uncertain future with 3 dependants. Unlike you, I didnt have any parents or close family for support either. My parents were both dead then. It was me and the kids, and of course God. I do pray that you will be able to make a decision soon, as all of this going to and fro in your mind cant be good for you or him. It will wear you down and drain you. In the end you will have to make a decision and stick with it, otherwise you will be in this situation for the rest of your life, just not knowing what to do, and spending a large part of your life being discontent and unhappy. Theres nothing wrong with you staying together and just being companions, if thats what you choose, but whichever way you go, I hope that God gives you peace with that decision and that you can make the best of either staying or going. I think that it will be a relief for you(and him)when you have decided one way or the other.