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Old 27th February 2012, 08:01 PM   #17
Helen_uk
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,531
Re: my partner seems to be addicted to being unfaithful

When we first started dating Abby I had no reason to distrust him at all. He was lovely, a real charmer and he was so different to my ex husband that I was bowled over .

Ex hubby was not a man for showing affection at all, the new man was. I really thought it was going to be wonderful.

I guess what started my suspicions was late one night when I couldn't sleep. At this point we weren't living together , but he was from London and I was in Coventry so he'd visit me at weekends. I went downstairs to get a glass of water and as I did , his phone beeped with a text . Ex husband and myself had never had secrets and often used each other's mobiles so without thinking I picked new man's phone up and read the text. It was from a woman . It wasn't graphically sexual but not innocent either . When he found out I'd read it, he literally went mad ! I was shocked . When he calmed down he gave me excuses about him liking his privacy as he had none growing up..... I should have gotten out then !

From then on his mobile was on silent and in his pocket every time he visited me. After a few false starts he moved in with me and I started getting strange pop ups on my PC , we'd been away on holiday and he said my kids must have been viewing sites they shouldn't... so I out a key logger on the pc............ of course it wasn't the kids, it was him...... Live porn sites, dating sites, sexual chat with women on IM..........

God alone knows why I didn't kick him out at that point, I loved him I guess so I just kept taking his excuses.

In between and sometimes for months at a time he was lovely to me and that ( I guess ) seemed to make up for it , at least the way my mind was then !

It came to a head and I did throw him out , but he managed to worm his way back in and for a while I found no evidence of anything........... but they don't change and eventually he went back to his old ways, only this time taking it one stage further and actually having a physical affair with this girl of 17. That's when I came to my senses ....


That was 4 -ish years ago now and I'm now happily engaged to a man I trust completely , it took me a while to get to the point of being able to trust but I got there and you will too.

NOBODY deserves being cheated on . Did I want to believe him ? Yes of course. I loved him . Deep down though I knew I was fooling myself . Someone who loves you doesn't hurt you , doesn't put their own needs or wants first , doesn't lie and cheat .

You deserve so much better .
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