Thread: Midlife crisis
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Old 23rd June 2011, 12:05 PM   #5
Helen_uk
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Join Date: Mar 2007
Posts: 1,531
Re: Midlife crisis

Is she on any medication for her depression ? That can sometimes make you feel a bit numb and inclined not to " feel " so much about things.

If not then she's probably told herself it was " only " an emotional affair , some people seem to think this is not as serious and that they can be more easily forgiven- not true as anyone who's been on the receiving end knows.

It's good that you've taken a look at what might have lead to the position you're in and are prepared to try and improve things , however do bear in mind you didn't have the affair so there is only so much you can do . If you have insecurities then maybe look at sorting those out, that can only be a benefit in the future . A counsellor could help you with that , and if your wife sees how willing you are to work on things it may just be the kick start she needs to do the same.

It is difficult that they are both still working at the same place so I can understand how you feel, unfortunately unless she is likely to be open to moving jobs ( which I'm guessing she isn't ? ) there isn't much you can do . She's broken your trust and in an ideal world she'd be doing everything she could to regain that , but as she isn't you have to decide if you can live with that . At the end of the day you can only change yourself , she is responsible for her own behaviours .
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