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Old 7th October 2011, 07:56 AM   #10
richyc
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Re: help wife left and i wrecked my chance

Quote:
Originally Posted by Bodysnatcher View Post
Sorry to hear your situation richyc, i'm in the same position as you and the only advice i can give you is to be strong and be there for your daughter. Time everyone says is a healer. Good luck
Quote:
Originally Posted by Chi townD View Post
What exactly happened? How did you catch her? How did you know where she would be? What did she say when you caught her?

The reason why you're not feeling emotional about this is you're still in shock.


Fastforward to 2 days ago - we met to discuss the bills/finances. I was ready to split everything and move on, had accepted it. But she ended up coming home for a coffee and we had a long talk, a good talk. She admitted that she had doubts, had seen a lot of change in me, liked being with me again etc etc

Last night we went climbing together and she came back for coffee and we talked again. Short version is that we are getting on really well and she has doubts and doesnt know what the future holds.

She doesnt want to go looking for new people but doesnt want to feel guilty about meeting them and doesnt want me too either because we cant put our lives on hold for months or a year to see if we get back together. Then she said that she cant think about thios right now because she is just about to start a 2 month intensive course and has to focus that she made her decision and has to stick to it for now.

And then the clincher - after her course she still wants to move out of her mums and get a place on her own. She wants to be on her own for 6 months. To me that says it all, how can you be so sure that you want to be on your own if you are unsure of your feelings or the future?

I know she has doubts but this feels like I am a safety net and if she came back having tried and failed to find a place or manage on her own then I couldnt take her back because it would only be as a last resort and not because she wanted it.

I dont want to pressure her or give a time limit but I cant wait as a safety net.
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