Thread: I can't let go!
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Old 23rd November 2013, 03:16 PM   #68
chosen
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Join Date: Aug 2009
Posts: 5,794
Re: I can't let go!

Quote:
Originally Posted by Morpheus View Post
I don't think anyone is advocating for staying in a dysfunctional marriage just because of the number of years put in. The truth is,as humans,we're socially conditioned to think that way, especially the betrayed party because they're generally people who're willing to give it all before walking away.
The number of years invested becomes one of those parameters, amongst many others, that are given consideration in the decision making process. Some people choose to give greater weight to that, others choose not, focusing instead on preparing for LAD(Life After Divorce).
All in all, each person will reach their tipping point and know that they're done, whether or not they're "throwing" away 50 years, the marriage ends and then LAD starts.
yes and we need to remember that many have no choice about the marriage ending anyway because their spouse has betrayed them or left them or divorces them. I guess that I have learnt not to look to the past all the time, as that is pointless, but to focus on now and the future. I have never seen is as throwing away anything, because its all part of who I am now. As long as we learn from life and the things that go wrong, its never wasted. Regret and guilt are pointless exercises.

I feel that many who have been married for a long time, are afraid to be alone or to loose their married status and their standard of living. I do know people who have stayed for those reasons alone. I can understand that, because its very hard to loose all of that, and a to be a poor single parent with no support, but sometimes its the only option, and the best one for all concerned. My children were happier after than before.
Our lives are far better now.
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