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Old 10th January 2009, 09:08 PM   #3
Ageing Grace
Registered User
Join Date: Nov 2008
Posts: 738
Re: Renewing our wedding vows

Hi, Dawn

I just want to support what Dave said: it's not the dress, it's the meaning of the ceremony that counts.

I'm so sorry you were suicidally depressed last year. How awful that you had to get through that, with the children depending on you and everything. I hope you found some decent treatment?

Almost everyone finds it incredibly hard to cope with a depressed partner (I have depression, too). Worse, the depression shuts you down so you can't even explain yourself properly to the one person that cares most ... it stinks.

Please try not to blame your husband too much, if he didn't support you how you would have liked while you were ill. I say this because there seems to be an amount of bitterness in your post; if so, it's extremely understandable. A year isn't all that long - average recovery time is 3-5 years You must still be feeling a bit fragile.

It looks like your husband has proposed the renewal ceremony as a romantic & meaningful gesture. That's very sweet! Maybe he hasn't gone further with the arrangements because he's nervous about your reaction ... What do you think?

The resources Dave suggested are pretty good, in the sense of overcoming communication barriers which you seem to have at the moment. Anything that gets you talking to each other about what you want & hope for (not just money, the personal stuff) would have to be a good thing

A word about the dress: Yes, you very much need to feel special if/when you do your ceremony. You know as well as I do, a new dress perks you up but there is far more to feeling 'special' than a few yards of satin. Just go buy a new everyday dress for the hell of it: how long is it since you shopped for something pretty?

Wear it when you talk to your man about the conversations you really want to have with him

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